we're all about learning through experience

This afternoon while driving Liza down the canyon after ski team, she announced she tried something she had always wondered about.  This is how the conversation with my eight year old went down:

Liza:  Today I wanted to see what would happen if I put my tongue on the bar that goes across the chairlift.

Me: (thinking - she CANNOT be serious) - um, ya, so did you give it a try?

Liza:  Yep

Me:  . . . and . . . did it stick?

Liza:  Yep

Me: . . . and . . . what did you do?

Liza: Well, I couldn't keep it there forever because I had to get off the chairlift.

Me:   . . . so, did you pull it off . . . did it hurt?

Liza:  Yep.

That was the end of our discussion about body parts stuck on cold metal.  Apparently she must have had a sudden urge to act out everyone's favorite scene from The Christmas Story.

I highly doubt she'll ever try that again.

Lesson learned.

let's make 2013 interesting

Instead of resolutions, why don't we all attempt something out of the box:

Happy New Year to all,

and to all a GOOD NIGHT.

know.it.all.

I have a problem.  Alright, it's been awhile since I've aired my weaknesses, so I figured we're due.  Thank goodness for teenagers, at least mine anyway, because they have absolutely no qualms about telling you exactly where you fall short in your social interactions with others.  Which is why I wasn't at all surprised when Caroline announced that I need to "take it easy" and try not to sound so condescending around people, especially other adults.  In her words:  "Mom, don't be such a know-it-all . . . it makes people feel dumb when they're around you."

Chris was in the room and burst out laughing because, yes, as much as I hate to admit it, there is some truth in her statement.  The problem is that I'm not intentionally trying to "one up" another person or be condescending, but rather that I seem to have so much information floating around my head, it needs to unload somewhere and I figure "who doesn't want to be enlightened by this knowledge?!"  Sigh.

Caroline's frustration arose after our "scripture feast" Young Women's activity last week (an annual tradition - such a wonderful evening), and I thought everything went off without a hitch and was fabulous . . . until Caroline mentioned my problem.  I know, she's a little extra sensitive because I'm her mom and I completely understand that my role is to never embarrass her.  Enough said.

Anyway, I suppose it began when I started pointing out extra scriptures and historical references to enhance the girls' understanding, which Caroline said was fine because the girls seemed to enjoy listening and learning, but when she realized none of the leaders knew what I was taking about, that's when I was hitting the danger zone. Then I really plowed into unwanted territory when I blurted out the correct quote someone had misquoted, and then without listening the the internal voice that was screaming for me to shut up, I offered the correct author of the quote.  UGH.  I must have sounded something like this . . . "oh, and I believe the person who originally penned that phrase was Eleanor Roosevelt."  Not Good.  Apparently I didn't see Caroline rolling her eyes as I dug myself into a pit of unsolicited, trivial information.

I applaud my daughter for bringing this short sightedness to my attention and I promised I would watch myself, especially during Young Women activities and in church.  Well, that lasted about, um, a day.  This morning during a meeting with the presidency and our advisers all was going well and I was keeping unnecessary comments and thoughts to myself . . . until our conversation drifted to include an unfamiliar neighbor (who is from Iran) whose mother is in the hospital, and what we could do to help the family.  I said, "Oh, I've met her, she's lovely, she's Persian, right?"  The gal next to me answered, "No she isn't, she's Iranian."  And before she could even exhale her remark, I responded with "It's the SAME THING . . . Persia is Iran, people who live in Iran are Persian."  And I'm sure she could hear the inaudible "duh" at the end because an immediate feeling of "Julie, could you be any more annoying" immediately presented itself from around the table before I could kick myself for being such an idiot.

Sigh.  I'll get better.  Please don't take offense and if it will help, just think of me as the female version of Dwight . . .

if we were penguins

I was cleaning up the art table the other day and found this gem:

This basically defines Liza in a nutshell: our random goofball.
Love that girl.

freak.

a couple days ago while checking out at Costco, I happened to notice this . . .

First off, weren't the early 90's like yesterday?  And how in the world did the children born just a few years ago suddenly become legal??  And why is it when I read a news article and a 40-something "person of interest" is mentioned, I imagine that someone the same age as my parents?? (because you know that anyone over 40 is the same age as my parents ;-).  And why won't I just come clean and admit that I've graduated from "young mom" to "old mom"?

Maybe this will put everything into perspective . . .

Oh, and it doesn't help matters much when Chris really DID graduate from high school in the early 80's (1983), and is now officially closer to 50 than 40.  Um, ya, isn't that like, "grandparent" status age?

WHAAAA!!!

ah, election year . . .

I just had to post this because it made me laugh out loud.  Plus, even if we don't agree with everything Mitt has put out there politically, it's still exciting to watch Chris' former ward bishop campaign for the Republican nomination.  He has done a wonderful job representing the church, our beliefs and values.

GO MITT!

2012

amen

of course

Lucky #7

March 13th our miss Elizabeth Jane turned seven years old.  Where has the time gone?  She is truly growing up right before our eyes, yet despite her becoming a little more mature, she still manages to keep us entertained like no other.  Here's the shortlist of why we love Liza:

• Always happy, always a smile on her face.
• Random, random, random.  We never know what will escape that child's mouth.
• She still can't pronounce her "th" sound, and because she's the baby of the family, I just love hearing her say "fing" instead of "thing" or "fousand" instead of thousand, and of course "faif" instead of "faith."  The day will soon be here when she'll have flawless speech, but I'm in no rush.
• Constantly asking questions and then storing the answers in her amazing memory.  Liza is beyond inquisitive, she is becoming a walking encyclopedia!
• Liza is never bored, ever.  She entertains herself for hours and her creativity baffles us all.
• She is filled with light, love, and joy . . .

Here are a few pics from last week's birthday celebration:

She was VIP in her first grade class and brought in this poster

Opening presents in the morning - after her favorite birthday breakfast - CREPES!

Grandma Pat came to celebrate - she even made the birthday cake and a little cake just for Liza!

WE LOVE LIZA!

Blowing out the candles

Enjoying cake and ice cream with the birthday girl - Grandpa Terry was in town to celebrate too, he helped Liza pick out her BIG birthday present and gave her a new helmet to go with it . . .

Liza finally got her own "big kid bike" with gears so she can keep up with the rest of us!

We can't keep her off this bike and Lucy has something to chase full time now!

One happy girl :-)



No birthday post for Liza would be complete without sharing a conversation we shared the week of her birthday.  An exchange with my random daughter that just needs to be written down for posterity:

Liza: "Mom, does it hurt when they cut open the moms to get the babies out?"  You were cut open, right?  Can I see where they cut open your stomach?"

Me: "Well, actually I was only cut open once, for Ryan . . . the rest of you came the normal way?"  And anyway, you can't really see the scar anymore, it's pretty low."  At this moment I point to my lower pelvis area . . . just figured she might as well know where they "cut you open."

Liza:  "Ewww, down there???  Why so low, that's like, um, like your bum!  What's the normal way??"

Me: I'm thinking - great, I guess she's ready to know exactly where the babies come out, so I gave her a sterilized explanation . . .

Liza:  "Ewww, that's so gross.  I wish I were a boy . . . no wait, no I don't . . . .  if I were a boy then I would have to be circumcised . . . oh, and even worse, oh, this is so disgusting . . . at this point she becomes all serious and lowers her voice as if she has some secret information she is divulging for my ears only . . . you know, boys have their thing down there that they have to squeeze to get the pee out of, like a cow . . . that is just so gross, I can't believe boys have to do that!"

Me:  Failing miserably at keeping a straight face.  "Um, well, that's not exactly what happens there . . . "

Liza:  Interrupting my explanation, "I mean REALLY, couldn't the babies just come out of my hand or just pop out of my bellybutton or something . . . I am SO not having babies!"

Oh, how we love our Liza.

Kid History

Need a laugh today?  Here is an official Cantera favorite . . .



We also think this video is hysterical - my kids love it (thanks Rob, I just had to steal it from your blog) . . .

Liza, the instigator

Oh our dear Elizabeth, who has played the role of "everyone picks on me . . . I never do anything wrong" with such overwhelming sincerity, we just HAVE to believe the poor kid.  Well, not anymore.  Sorry Liza, your gig is up.  The tables have turned and we're realizing that it should be "poor Sophie" who, because of her reactive personality always takes the wrap for the sibling battles that lately have been occurring quite frequently in the girls' room.

So tonight was an eye-opener.  I quietly waited outside their bedroom door to witness Liza's antics firsthand . . . watching how she silently sneaks behind Sophie and sticks her tongue out, then rolls her eyes and gets Sophie right where she wants her - MAD - then Sophie tells her to go away and leave her alone, but Liza keeps pushing buttons until Sophie has had enough and *smack* Liza gets it in the arm (not hard btw) and begins her well-polished yelp of pain, so when I appear she's writhing in pain and explaining how horrible Sophie is and how she didn't do anything at all . . .  how she was getting ready for bed, minding her own business and then out of the blue, Sophie just hit her!  Um, ya right.

Here's the conversation I had with alone with Liza in the bathroom -

Me:  "Liza, you were not being nice to Sophie.  We don't act like this in our family, we treat our brother and sisters with respect.  I'm not happy with you.  You need to be nice."

Liza just looks at me and frankly states:  "Well, I'm nice in my dreams."

Me (trying to stay serious):  "Great, I'm glad you've got it down in your dreams, but that doesn't count, you need to be nice when you are awake.  Do you think you can do that??

Liza doesn't say anything, she's just staring at me and wondering if I'm serious, so I shake my head and say, "What in the world are we going to do with you?"

She gives me this answer in her best martyr voice while looking at me intently with those big brown eyes because she knows she's finally been ratted out:  "I guess you could just send me to an orphanage."

SIGH . . .

Season opener

Ok, just how amazing is this picture taken from last night's opening home football game at Skyline?!!  (credit to photographer and fellow SHS student, Calvin Chour).  Ryan was in his element hanging out with friends and cheering the team from the student section, as you can see from this picture I stole from his facebook page.  He is LOVING high school, especially the social aspect (i.e. weekends = nonstop party).  I'm happy he's having such a great time, I'll be even more ecstatic if he can keep his grades as high as his rung on the social ladder :-).

Since we're on the topic of double rainbows, if you haven't seen this video it will literally make you cry, it's that funny!  Oh, and I suppose I would probably act just like this guy if you combine my love of nature with some weed . . .

Come again?

Ahhh, the things that escape out of Liza's mouth on a daily basis that aren't being recorded!!  Since my blog has been hit or miss, I'm starting today to once again "catch up," and what a perfect way to begin then by mentioning a few sentences that offer a tiny glimpse into the mind and character of Liza Jane . . .

• After getting dressed, she announces:  "This is so cool, my outfit matches my blood!!" (yesterday, she took a spill on her bike where the handle bar gouged her neck, and yes, her top matched the red scrape quite nicely).

This next conversation happened within minutes of the excitement surrounding her fashion discovery . . .

• At lunch I was asking the girls what they would like to drink, it sounded something like this: "Caroline, what can I get for you?"  "I'll have cranberry juice . . "  "Sophie, how about you?"  "Cranberry juice, thanks."  Before I get a chance to even ask Liza, she hits us with this come again moment:  . . . "I'll have a beer."

Seriously child, where that came from we'll never know, but this much we do know, it's never a dull moment you around, and no Liza, you can't have a beer!

Our toothless wonder

Our new favorite comedy

OK, seriously?  Seriously??  I don't think I've had more fun at a movie since "Meet the Parents" (which was supposed to be funny).  Last night after Caroline's tennis match we decided to go to the dollar theater for a girls' night with Caroline and Sophie's friends to see the latest romantic vampire episode.  What the hay, it's a buck, and to spend some time with my girls, it's worth it, no matter the movie.

I think Caroline is now one of my favorite movie buddies.  It was shear pleasure sitting next to her and cracking up together outloud every time something corny escaped the lips of the characters . . . not just the script, but the silly music tracks, the contrived plot line, and the downright lousy acting.  Caroline's favorite line to mock is, "It's not a lifestyle choice . . . I was born this way, it's a gene, I can't help it."  Really, by the end of the movie the entire theater was laughing - hard - because once you have a twelve-year old girl not buying this type of movie, the people around you see the light pretty quick!

After it was over, the group behind us commented that it was the funniest movie they've seen in months, and Caroline replied, "ya, and I feel really bad for the people who thought it was serious!" We concurred that it definitely deserves a new title . . .

A Girl and her Dog: A Love Story (it's complicated)

Memory Lapse?

Today Liza brought home a little something from school, and I thought you all might find it as funny as we did:

Don't worry, Ryan's feelings were only mildly hurt.  The rest of us were laughing so hard that Liza referred to him as "Brudr" instead of his name . . . too much!

Option 2

My conversation with Liza while fixing dinner tonight:

Liza - "Hey I have another idea for Christmas"
Me - "Great, because I'm not sure Santa can bring a talking dog."
Liza - "That's ok, I either want a talking dog or an elf."
Me - "Exactly what type of an elf are you talking about?"
Liza - "You know, one of Santa's little elves."
Me - "So, do you think you would like a boy or a girl elf?"
Liza - "A girl elf . . . oh, WAIT, I think a boy elf because we have too many girls in our family, we need another boy."
Me - "OK, you'll have to ask Santa if he can part with one of his elves."
Liza - "All right - I'll tell him that I'll take good care of him and make sure he wears his seatbelt."

Anyone want to help me with THIS Christmas wish??

Update:  I've been trying to talk Liza out of this request, but to no avail.  When I told her that Santa really can't just give away one of his elves, she responded that she only wants an elf without a home - an "orphan elf" - because she'll take really good care of an elf who needs a family.  Sigh.

I can't wait to hear what the local "Santa" has say when my daughter sits on his lap and asks for a  real elf!  I think I'll have the video camera rolling for this one :-).

Liza's Christmas wish

Anyone know where we can find one of these?

Yep, a talking dog, this is the ONE and only gift Liza would like for Christmas.  No matter how much we try and explain that Doug is pretend, and that collars that make dogs talk don't exist, she is still certain that Santa will make it happen, and a little puppy with a very special collar that translates its thoughts into words will be waiting for her under the tree on Christmas morning.

Sigh.

Heartbreak Kid

I have a feeling this is only the beginning . . .

Last night on our way to a parent/child doubles tennis tournament at the club, Caroline had me in stitches as she related a text converstation between her and the boy who has had a crush on her for four years.  In her words, "it was so lame - he had to TEXT me all this":

Boy:  I have liked you since 3rd grade, I really like you, will you go out with me??
Caroline:  No, I'm sorry.
Boy:  Why not?  Please, please, please . . . I think you're beautiful.
Caroline:  I don't need a boyfriend.
Boy: Yes you do!  I promise I'll be the best boyfriend ever, I'm so nice and I'll treat you really great.
Caroline:  Thanks, but I don't want a boyfriend, I'm not old enough.
Boy:  Would you go out with me if you were 16?
Caroline: I don't know.
Boy:  If you were 16, and I asked you out, would you say "yes?"
Caroline:  I'm not sure.
Boy:  I wrote a song for you.
Caroline:  Oh.
Boy:  I'll sing it to you if you want.
Caroline:  That's ok, I have to go now.
Boy:  No you don't, you're just saying that.
Caroline:  No really, I have to go, sorry.
Boy:  You know I've had a crush on you since 3rd grade.
Caroline:  Ok, great, I really have to go now.  Bye.

Poor Kid.

Update:  After school today I asked Caroline if she was at least nice and hopefully talking to this boy.  She told me he asked her if she was having a good week, she responded in the affirmative and asked how his week was going.  His answer:  "Terrible, because you won't be my girlfriend."

Poor Kid.

Seriously

Fast, expensive, rarely seen sport cars - this is our 5-year old daughter's latest fixation. Seriously. It's been going on for months now and at first we thought it was just a whim, but the other day when I had to calm her down after she hurt herself by looking at Ferraris on the computer, or when, on our way to Bear Lake she announced that if we were driving a Ferrari we wouldn't feel all the bumps in the road and we would get there much faster, or how she wants a poster of a yellow Ferrari in her room, I knew we're talking about more than a passing whim.

It all started in the spring when a bright red Ferrari whizzed past us and Liza gasped, "whoa, did you see that CAR?!! What was that?" Now she is constantly on the look-out for anything that looks remotely close to a Ferrari and she's driving us crazy with her nonstop inquiries . . . "was that a Corvette or a Ferrari? . . . "WAIT, slow down, I think I saw a Ferrari!" . . . "Ooooh, did you see that car? Oh, it's not a Ferrari, it's a Porche, what's a Porche?" . . . "Is that car a Ferrari, a Corvette, or a Porche???" It's getting ridiculous.

So, tonight we went on a walk over to this neighbor whom I've never met, but who collects these types of cars and keeps them in a special garage, just hoping he would be out front washing one (hopefully the Ferrari). Liza thought we were going on the greatest field trip ever, but unfortunately the garage wasn't open and we didn't get a peek, but now I know exactly what I'll use next time I need to bribe the kid. Seriously.