living wholeheartedly

"Don't ask what the world needs.  

Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  

Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Howard Thurman

I LOVE this!  Isn't it a beautiful reminder about what brings positive energy into our lives?  It's just one of the insightful quotes from the book I am currently reading by Brene Browne, The Gifts of Imperfection.  I thought I'd take a moment to write a little blurb on the blog after my yoga instructor mentioned the author's Ted Talk this morning which led to a discussion surrounding the essence of her observations and how these intuitive moments of awareness are reflected in our yoga practice.  If you haven't had the pleasure of watching, please take the 18 minutes and treat yourself, it's wonderful . . .

While reading, I found myself skipping around and finding the morsels that seem to fit my needs at the moment.  Isn't one of our greatest desires to live an authentic, connected, compassionate, spiritual, and joyful life with our whole hearts, everyday?  So, why do we hold back at at times? Brown's book delves into what prevents us from opening our hearts and allowing others to see our imperfections, our weaknesses, and our struggles.  To live each day wholeheartedly is to have the courage (which literally means to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart) to open our hearts, despite our vulnerability, and also allow our children to present their pure, authentic selves to the world.

I connected with her definitions of the critical aspects of humanity that are so important to each one of us and thought I'd share a few. . .

Connection: the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.
Love: we cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.
Authenticity: the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we are.  Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable . . . exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are ALL made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough.
Spirituality: recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion.  Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose into our lives.
Joy: Twinkle lights are the perfect metaphor for joy.  Joy is not constant.  It comes to us in moments--often ordinary moments.  Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we're too busy chasing down extraordinary moments.  Other times we're so afraid of the dark that we don't dare let ourselves enjoy the light.  A joyful life is not a floodlight of joy.  That would eventually become unbearable.  I believe a joyful life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by trust, gratitude, inspiration, and faith.
Calm: creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity . . . 
Stillness: is not about focusing on nothingness; it's about creating a clearing.  It's opening up an emotionally clutter-free space and allowing ourselves to feel and think and dream and question. In our increasingly complicated and anxious world, we need more time to do less and be less.

simple rules to live by . . .

1. Free your heart from hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. 

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you something you need to learn. 

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is to be someone who can be loved. 

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. 

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give. 

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his or her place. Friendship is like wine; it gets better as it grows older.

Many thanks to my friend Lyn for letting me swipe this awesome post from her blog!

of human bondage

I read this book YEARS ago, and just finished it again yesterday.  It now ranks among my top five novels of all time. Truly a masterpiece of brilliant proportions with power to stun readers with universal emotion and truth.  I was moved to tears as I read Maugham's final words - grateful for the heart wrenching and passionate life experience of Phillip Carey.

The writing is fascinating from beginning to end, and oh how I wish I could take raw emotion, regret, faith, sorrow, joy, pain, idealism, pride, happiness, disillusionment, beauty, love, irrationality, hope . . .  and capture it on paper. Somerset Maugham did just that almost a hundred years ago in this observant classic which continues to haunt our innermost fears and desires, and persuade readers to question the purpose of living in a world that at times seems hopeless.

Of the several dog-eared pages of my book, one passage in the final chapters stands out as Phillip faces the handicap that he has struggled against for so long . . .

He accepted the deformity which had made life so hard for him; he knew that it had warped his character, but now he saw also that by reason of it he had acquired that power of introspection which had given him so much delight.  Without it he would never have had his keen appreciation of beauty, his passion for art and literature, and his interest in the varied spectacle of life.  The ridicule and contempt which had so often been heaped upon him had turned his mind inward and called for those flowers which he felt would ever lose their fragrance.  Then he saw that normal was the rarest thing in the world.  Everyone had some defect, of body or of mind:  he thought of all the people he had known (the whole world was like a sick-house, and there was no rhyme or reason in it), he saw a long procession, deformed in body and warped in mind, some with illness of the flesh, weak hearts or weak lungs, and some with illness of the spirit, languor of will, or a craving for liquor.  At this moment he could feel a holy compassion for them all.  They were the helpless instruments of blind chance.  He could pardon Griffiths for his treachery and Mildred for the pain she had caused him.  They could not help themselves.  The only reasonable thing was to accept the good of men and be patient with their faults.  The words of the dying God crossed his memory:

Forgive them, for they know not what they do.

"From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that we are here for the sake of each other - above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, andhow earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received."

- Albert Einstein-

Charmed Moments

Now that the moment of bad parenting has passed, I just can't open my blog and have that post staring me in the face.  As always, after the breakdown, life almost immediately presents its better side and I can't contain the joy I feel surrounded by so much abundance.

I want to share an insightful passage from my current favorite book, The Gift of an Ordinary Day  . . .

"There is no such thing as a charmed life, not for any of us, no matter where we live or how mindfully we attend to the tasks at hand.  But there are charmed moments, all the time, in every life and in every day, if we are only awake enough to experience them when they come and wise enough to appreciate them . . .  My challenge is to hold on to that awareness, even on days when everyone's stress runs high, when one or the other of my children needs more than I can give, or when I'm simply overwhelmed by the demands of life with adolescents or saddened by the idea of life without them." (pg. 224)


My own "charmed moments" from the past couple days:

• Scripture study Thursday morning - my spiritual well was filled.
• Meeting Liza with a smile and Valentine cookie when I picked her up at school.
• Acting the part of passenger as my son drives himself to the gym.
• Listening to Sophie play her guitar and sing her heart out in her room.
• Dinner with friends that make me laugh so hard I cry, friends that I couldn't imagine my life without.
• Exercise.  Yoga class and meditation - remembering India and contemplating my own devotion.
• The peace within our home as I went about my routine without interruption.
• Spending over an hour on the phone with my best friend and feeling so uplifted afterwards I could hardly contain myself.
• A few precious moments with Chris alone.
• Time with Caroline this evening running errands, then watching a movie together.
• Chatting with Ryan about his day, his friends, school, and his Friday night after he walks in the door - right on time.

No, nothing monumental to record, not a charmed life by any means, just those little things that beg for awareness each day.  Otherwise, I might miss them.

To ponder

"Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge . . .

Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?"

{T.S. Eliot}

Integrity

This morning in my study group (Old Testament this year) we were discussing the life of Job, and what struck me the most during my reading of these chapters was his unwavering devotion to truth and righteousness, in its purity.  The Lord refers to Job as a "perfect" man and I believe he was referring to the state of his heart . . . his heart, mind, and soul being filled with perfect integrity . . .

"Till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me. 
My righteousness I hold fast, and will not let it go."

Job 27:5-6

I found this insight into the scripture from my little book of daily Old Testament scriptures and thoughts:

"Those who have integrity live with a whole and complete heart.  They have no secret places, no hypocrisy - what you see is what you get.  Such individuals strive daily to choose the right and choose it for the right reasons.  They have fused right actions with pure motives.  They act out of love rather than for outward appearance.  They show their family the same courtesies and respect they show acquaintances and strangers.  They uphold sacred truths regardless of circumstance.  This "integrity of heart" keeps them faithful and strong even when surrounded by a world of temptation and difficulty.  Like Job, no matter what, they persevere in righteousness and testimony.  People with integrity know that life is a process of growth.  They find the strength to change, because they "[love] that which is right" (D&C 124:15).  They learn from shortcomings, ask forgiveness, and cleave unwaveringly to truth."

It was an uplifting and spiritual conversation (as always) with my dear study group friends . . . I leave refreshed and rededicated every Thursday, especially on beautiful mornings like today when we have our discussions on Anita's deck surrounded by trees rustling in the breeze and the sound of the creek underneath.  Indeed, I am so blessed!

The simple moments

"It is a valuable exercise to close your eyes every once in a while and think,
'What is the most wonderful moment I have lived through during the past year?'

It might be part of a grand event or a very simple moment, perhaps a brief interaction with another person.
The grand or the simple, it doesn't matter.
Just the remembering will lift your spirits, and warm feelings will fill your soul."

~Marjorie Pay Hinckley~

Today was one of those days I want to remember.  A day filled with many simple, yet profoundly sweet moments spent with my children, friends, neighbors, and my husband.  As simple as a trail run in the cool early morning, surrounded by the fresh scents of pine and mountain air, and a meaningful conversation with a friend.  As simple as morning hugs, kisses, and "I love yous."  As simple as feeling the warm spirit within our home as Caroline takes time to make bracelets, build forts, and read stories with her sisters.  As simple as basking in the energy of a teenage son's awesome day and listening to all the details.  As simple as helping Liza master her first basic piano pieces and sharing Caroline's modest pride in her own accomplishments.

The joy found in making dinner with my children and the sweet conversations that take place when we work together.  The simplicity of an evening walk, entranced by the thunderstorm rolling in from the east and casting it's spell with a breathtaking sunset and picturesque canyon sky.  The spontaneous, welcoming conversation with new neighbors as we watch the western sky.  As simple as spending time reading and pondering the scriptures.  And, of course, the beautiful simplicity of spending a few minutes cuddling and talking with my love at the end of the day.

Indeed, a day to remember . . . and it was all so simple.

Quote for the day . . .

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”

Mary Anne Radmacher

My weakness

Expectations. Just something I've been thinking about today. I expect too much from people, especially those closest to me. Sometimes I am too hard on the people I love the most. That is my weakness. I found these quotes today - just something for me and others like me to ponder:

"The way to achieve happiness is to have a high standard for yourself,
and a medium one for everyone else."
- Marcelene Cox

"Because you're not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are."
- Madeleine L'Engle