Kindred Spirits

"Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”

~ Anne Shirley ~ 
(Anne of Green Gables)

This evening I found myself engaged in yet another thoughtful conversation with our ever perceptive teenage daughter.  Sometimes I wonder if moving closer to schools and activities might hinder some of these precious discussions that seem to take shape slowly and deliberately during our 20 minutes of time together in the car.

Of course, what was on Caroline's mind is all too familiar: why we "click" so easily with some people, and others we just don't feel much of a connection, even when they are wonderful people.  I believe it's a question everyone asks.  I find it interesting that the most popular post on this blog is entitled "Soul Connection" which includes an insightful quote on the meaning of these connections, these kindred spirits we occasionally run across during our sojourn here on earth.  Every day my blog receives several hits from google with people searching "soul connection" . . . "what is a soul connection?" . . . "do soul connections exist?" etc.

Our conversation this evening gave me an opportunity to reflect on those unique friendships that have been so meaningful, and help Caroline understand that she will always have these soul connections throughout her life, and most importantly that they will find her when she least expects them and when she needs them the most.  It was rewarding for me to hear which friends of hers she is experiencing this deep bond with at the moment, and how they are influencing her life.  Also, to share with her the special friendships of my own and how I stumbled upon these kindred spirits with whom there was an immediate connection, be it at age seven or thirty-seven.

A month or so ago while listening to a book review on NPR, the author noted, "Our deepest desire is that others will see us as we see ourselves."  I think that is what a soul connection is at it's core.  It's those rare souls who can look directly into our hearts, know who we are, build us up, and love us despite our weaknesses and frailties.  As Jackson Browne so eloquently reminds me in this line from his introspective song, These Days:  "Don't confront me with my failures, I had not forgotten them."

How blessed we are to be led to those who overlook our faults, help us grow, and consistently remind us of our strengths.

So, to all the kindred spirits that I have found, and to those I have yet to meet, I thank you for your friendship, love, example, spirit, patience, advice, laughter, and wisdom . . .

May my daughter ever be so blessed.

Film premiers + time with an old friend =

BLISS!

CLICK HERE for all the latest Sundance updates and pics from my favorite movie critic.

"We Are Okay"

. . . Simple times now seem so far,
Used to be in my backyard,
Yeah, the world was still in my backyard . . .

These lyrics are from a song written by my absolute favorite contemporary alternative singer/songwriter, Josh Radin.  It was just playing a moment ago as I went about my household duties for the day, and when the song We Are Okay began my thoughts turned to yesterday afternoon's conversation which with one of my dearest childhood friends, and our memories of the seemingly simple, idyllic childhood and adolescence we shared together growing up in Bountiful, Utah.

I haven't seen my friend Wendy for over two years, and was so happy she was in town for a few days and I could finally take her to lunch to celebrate her 40th birthday.  I honestly can't believe this year all my comrades and myself turn forty - ugh - seriously, I remember when my parents turned forty and they seemed SO old.  While at Wendy's parents' home I couldn't help but stare into the faces of her family in a picture taken about 30 years ago, when they had children ranging in age from about 6 to 16, a picture I remember well hanging in the hall of her childhood home.  Unbelievably, that family portrait now mirrors my own family, my own children celebrating the freedom, discovery and simplicity of youth, and I'm suddenly thrown into the role of responsible parent and mature adult preparing my children for the world that faces them.

The greatest part about spending time with Wendy is the flood of childhood memories that come back when we are together and how fun it is to relive some of our adventures.  We met when our family moved into our Bountiful home (1467 Vineyard Circle) the fall of 1978 when I was seven years old.  Wendy lived down the street on Seville Way and we began 2nd grade at Oakhills Elementary, walking to and from school together every day.  We continued into Jr. High at Millcreek Jr. High and were locker partners all three years.  We endured those awkward years together and spent practically every weekend with one another, and with our friend Rachel, usually ending up at one of our homes staying up all hours talking about the very most important topic of the day (which cute boy smiled at us or what music we like), making up dances to our favorite music (the BeeGees come to mind), playing cards (what? no face cards at girls camp - what's up with that!), singing showtunes, playing pool or pingpong, baking cookies, playing Atari, or making forts out of the couch cushions.

Our summers were spent wandering the neighborhood and ending up in anyone's backyard that sported a trampoline or basketball court and didn't mind we were there (the Gibb's yard was a popular spot).  We endlessly explored the hills looking for old isenglass mines and collecting as much as we could carry home.  We played games of "capture the flag" in my backyard with the neighborhood kids, we rode our bikes everywhere, we hiked up the streams in the woods near Rachel's house and would conquer climbing the "B" on the mountainside . . . all without much adult supervision.  I remember being dirty quite often and rarely spending much time indoors.

By the time we entered Bountiful High School we drifted somewhat to different groups of friends, but always remained close.  It was Wendy who, with her pertinent advice and wisdom guided me through some difficult times and always made sure I wasn't doing anything too stupid, as I was wont to do at times.  She and Rachel were my beacons of goodness and maturity, while I still had a lot of growing up to do.  I know my mom never worried when I spent time with my two childhood friends, like she did with some other characters I befriended during those years.  By the middle of my senior year, I had once again formed the strong bond with these friends that we had shared during our elementary and early Jr. High years, and I count it as one of the greatest blessings of my life.

Wendy was my roommate our freshman and sophomore years at BYU - by far some of the most endearing and sweetest memories of my life took place during those first years at BYU.  Wendy actually met Chris before I did when he stopped by our apartment and I wasn't home.  She was the only friend who was able to come to our temple ceremony, as she was preparing to leave shortly for her mission, and was there that day, along with Rachel sharing the excitement of my marriage to Chris.

Now, we're wives and mothers of our own little broods, hopefully teaching the same life lessons our mothers taught us, and praying that our daughters will have the blessed opportunity to find those friendships that endure a lifetime.  So, here's to my childhood friends and those memories we created that will forever be part of my life . . .



Now, back to the messy house that demands my attention (when personally, I would much rather be up in the hills searching for isenglass :-).

soul connection

"A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other's individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level.  This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. While a heart connection allows us to appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension."

John Welwood

I love quotes that speak to me, so I'm stealing this one from a friend of mine. I just think the term "soul connection" speaks volumes about those rare friendships one stumbles upon throughout life.  Those "kindred spirits" who connect with your inner core, and before you know it, you have a lifelong friend who understands you more completely than even you at times, understand yourself.

Like I said, these friendships are rare and I am grateful to have a small number of these connections.  Friends you trust with your heart and soul, who truly love and support your family, who cheer you on when discouragement sets in, and who will never let you down. Friends who encourage without judgment, listen with an open heart, and who understand your weaknesses and shortcomings without taking advantage of your vulnerability . . . and you do the same for them . . . a "soul connection."

CLICK HERE to read this quote in its entirety.

Friends

"A friend is one who knows you as you are, understands where

you've been, accepts who you've become, and still,

gently invites you to grow . . ."

 Anonymous

I found this quote today, something I saved from "Academy For Girls" almost twenty-five years ago.  I was just thirteen years old when I spent a week down at BYU for this program.  I still remember my counselor, Katherine Kennedy (we actually connected on facebook of all places just recently), some of the talks that were given, and especially how I felt and grew spiritually during that time.  So, today while organizing some boxes I found this handwritten quote on a little piece of pink paper, given to me from one of the counselors and thought I would share.

It must have meant enough to me back then to keep all these years and I understand why.  After my family, it's truly my friends that keep my tank filled and bring so much happiness into my life.  Thanks to you all!

20 Years . . .

Has it really been 20 years since High School graduation? Twenty years since that magical summer of '89 . . . that last summer of my youth, the last summer I lived in the same house as my parents, the last summer I walked the quiet streets of my childhood neighborhood after dark talking and laughing with girlfriends, the last summer of complete freedom, the last summer driving aimlessly with the windows down and the music much too loud . . . the last summer of no responsibility??

Fast forward twenty years to the summer of 2009 . . . responsibility is now an understatement, long walks chatting with girlfriends is a guilty pleasure I relish rather than take for granted, and there is definitely no time to drive aimlessly or to have the music louder than is tolerable!

A couple of weeks ago we, the Bountiful High School class of '89 celebrated those 20 years, and I realized that although we've all grown up, we've also collectively experienced so much joy, pain, happiness, and heartache during those years of growing up. It was a beautiful experience. It seemed no one was afraid to mention the divorce, the separation, the lost job, the illness, the loneliness, the loss of a child or spouse, the fear of moving yet again, or the fear of what lies ahead. As much as I resent the word, we have become adults. However, for a couple of evenings we reminisced, laughed, and shared stories from years past that made each one of us feel young once again.

There is something to be said about those people who share your history, who knew you when you were 7, or 12, or 15 years old. We all seem to remember certain aspects of each other and when you see one another again after so many years, you have a clearer picture of who that person is and how much they really meant to you during those crucial years, and how much more they mean to you now. It was a wonderful weekend to reunite with old friends and classmates, and I am eternally grateful to Kristen and her committee for all the hours they put in to making it come together as beautifully as it did - thank you!

Click here for more fun pictures of the event!

"Words on Women & Strength"

This is a beautiful reminder of the power behind women and cherished friendships. A dear friend sent to me months ago and I was waiting for the right time to post it. After another evening spent among friends tonight, I feel so blessed to have these types of bonds in my life. The past 24 hours have been so uplifting, so beautiful. I am grateful to friends that inspire, friends that come to me for advice, friends that listen, friends that make me laugh, and especially friends that genuinely care about me and my family. That is why this tribute touches my heart - enjoy . . .

You've.been.on.my.mind.

Five simple words said out of genuine love and concern, one friend to another. Sometimes that's all it takes to relieve ourselves of a burden, a troubled mind, a heavy heart. My sincerest "thank-you" to a dear friend, a kindred spirit who lightened my soul today . . . you've been on my mind . . . how easy, how meaningful to those who struggle for a small moment, who lose sight of themselves, who need a connection.

Thanks friend for helping me feel myself once again.

I liked this . . .

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

~ Henri Nouwen

I happened to find myself in the doctor's office this afternoon (no worries - allergies), and found this quote in a magazine. It spoke to me, so I thought I would share.

14. FRIENDS

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." ~ Anais Nin

What can I say? My life would be empty without friends, without those people in my life that I can count on without hesitation, that I can laugh and cry with, and talk with for hours. Those special friends who just make you smile when you see their name on your caller ID or email because just hearing from them can turn your day around if you're not having a particularly good one. It is those friends who just call to check in, to relate a funny story, and are genuinely interested in what's going on in my little corner of the universe that mean so much to me . . . those people who truly complete me as a person and add another beautiful and interesting dimension to my life.

One of my greatest blessings today is the wealth of friendships I've nurtured over the years, they are priceless. I believe every person has a story, we learn so much from the people around us, and one can never have TOO many friends. I have, what Chris considers to be a major social disease, of meeting new friends wherever I find myself - the club, the gym, pre-school, tennis, kindermusik, the kids' lessons, the blogosphere, airplanes . . . really, WHEREVER. For example, just tonight at Caroline's tennis tournament I ran into two old friends and met a new one (her name is Gwen, from Park City - just moved here two months ago from California and now we're going skiing next month - lol!).

I've loved reconnecting with old friends these past few months, especially those I knew years ago from Jr. High and High School. Many were merely acquaintances that I passed in the hall each day, offered a friendly "hello" and a wave, knew who they were dating, and maybe a little of the associated drama, and that was about it. But, NOW, connecting with these friends again has been such an experience - I've been fascinated to hear what's happened to each person since we graduated almost 20 years ago; I'm thrilled by their families and successes, happy to see where they are today, and heartbroken after learning about their struggles. I've truly felt such a connection with these friends who really did play such an important role in my adolescent years, it's been remarkable.

Life gets busy, but reach out every day to someone, meet a new friend, reconnect with an old one, send a note or make that phone call to keep those relationships strong . . . you'll be glad you did and your life will be blessed for the effort!

The Twiddlebugs!

Flashback . . . Liza and I were watching classic Sesame Street videos this morning on youtube (I'll put some others on another time), but for today here's a favorite - the twiddlebugs. I was laughing so hard I was in tears because I forgot how much these funny creatures were part of my daily comedy routine during high school. When one of my friends was having a bad day, I would lean over in class and whisper, "how do we get to the zoo?" in my very best twiddlebug voice . . . it was too much to resist and before long we would cause quite a disturbance inacting the entire "Let's take the family car" episode.

Makes me smile just thinking about it and reminds me to be a twiddlebug a little more often on dreary days! So, this is for Wendy and Jamie, the biggest fans of "let's go to the zoooo . . . "