reflecting on 20 years

September 21, 1991

I really can't believe we celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary earlier this week.  I remember my PARENTS' 20th anniversary when I was in Jr. High and they seemed so OLD.  Honestly, how did this milestone creep up on us so quickly?  As alarming as hitting 20 years together seems, it's also been a sweet reminder of the things that have kept us together all these years and how we've grown, both individually and collectively.  We've reminisced about everything from the excitement of meeting one another and dating, to the realization that we've actually put up with one another for this long ;-).

Of course, we have had highs and lows like every other marriage . . . we've struggled, we've done stupid things, we've hurt one another, we've said things we regret, we've felt unsupported, unappreciated, and misunderstood, we've yelled and slammed doors, we've cried together, we've forgiven, we've learned from our mistakes, and we've stayed up all night working things out . . . we've also created countless memories, laughed so hard it hurts, shared some unbelievable experiences and adventures, nurtured our faith and testimonies in the gospel, raised our children with unflinching honesty, and become closer with each passing year.  Through it all, we've realized that we are two firstborn stubborn, opinionated, passionate people who care deeply about each other and couldn't get along without the other.

I don't know what I would do without Chris.  We both agree that we would be lost souls if one of us were gone.  What we've realized in the years since our wedding day, is that our marriage is anything but "perfect" - it requires vigilance and constant nurturing, understanding, and communication.  However, it also has become one of my richest blessings as I continue to develop greater patience, humility, empathy, and charity for my family members as well as others.

Some say "soul mates" don't exist, that it's just a matter of luck or timing.  But I believe they do. I truly believe that I could only learn some of the most important lessons for my personal growth here in mortality through my relationship with Chris. We were meant to find each other 21 years ago, in circumstances that every year seem more than coincidental. It wasn't a chance meeting, but truly a soul connection that brought us together, and the longer we live and grow together, the more I believe that is true. It seems everyone is searching for some sort of "soul connection" these days because it's my most popular post, receiving several hits each day.  After some digging I found the quote in its entirety.  It's simply exquisite . . . and oh, so true:

"A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other's individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level. This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. It is a sacred alliance whose purpose is to help both partners discover and realize their deepest potentials. While a heart connection lets us appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension -- seeing and loving them for who they could be, and for who we could become under their influence. This means recognizing that we both have an important part to play in helping each other become more fully who we are....A soul connection not only inspires us to expand, but also forces us to confront whatever stands in the way of that expansion." 

John Welwood

So, thank you Chris for helping me realize my potential, for inspiring me to expand my heart to degrees I didn't think it was possible to stretch, and for the years of love, laughter, and understanding.

Anniversary dinner at Log Haven, then off to a remarkable contemporary musical ("Next to Normal") at Pioneer Theater.

(for a few more pics of our wedding day, click here)