Good-bye school, hello SUMMER

Ahhhh, the final day of the school year.

Desks and lockers emptied, yearbooks signed, hugs goodbye, even tears (notice Sophie - she and her best friend ADORED their teacher and were very, very sad to have to say "good-bye") . . . another year of school has ended with it's usual fanfare of parties, field trips, field days, and excitement.  I think this has to be one of my favorite parts of being a mom - when those last few days seem to bring back memories of the pure freedom associated with the end of school and beginning of summer vacation that I remember so well from my own childhood and adolescence . . . quite nostalgic.

Liza and friend Kate at field day

Sophie helping the girls team during tug-a-war

The local firemen surprised the kids with their trucks

Soph and friends were SOAKED!

After field day, I raced over to the Jr. High to set up for the 9th grade promotion party LUAU.  Thanks to Caroline and Jodelle's daughter Hannah for their help!

Here they come - tired boys after a day at Lagoon . . . let's get this party started!

Ryan and best buddy Sam Peterson  - boys will be boys . . . sigh.

Awesome party - shaved ice, dinner, live band, and yearbook signing!

Our boys didn't mind too much having us there - Jodelle always keeps things lively!

Caroline signing yearbooks this morning w/ friends Maddie and Sophie

Our teacher gifts - a special cookie and movie gift cards.

Liza saying "good-bye" to her kindergarten teachers, Mrs. Pope and Mrs. Oakeson - what a great year!

Sophie and her absolute FAVORITE teacher of all time, Mrs. Menssen.  She will be dearly missed!

Sweet Hunter gave Sophie a hug to help her feel better - she did manage a smile!

I think I'm going back to bed . . .

I refuse to get up when this is what we get to wake up to this morning:

With the crazy, cold, wet spring we've been having Caroline predicted just the other day that it would probably SNOW on her birthday . . . well, her birthday is tomorrow and we already have about an inch of the white stuff on our lawn and it's showing absolutely no signs of slowing down.  What happened to spring this year??

The poor birds - they're outside chirping madly trying to figure this all out . . . especially when the snow didn't melt until after 2pm - I don't ever recall a day in May when I had to use my 4-wheel drive and wear my ski coat to a soccer game!

We ended up with 4" fresh snow - that's got to be a record for this late in the season.

What do we do?

I ran across this article in from the Washington Post the other day and thought I would share.  I found it very insightful, especially considering the insanity of my own particular brand of motherhood the past two weeks, which translates into no blog posts . . .

The author's words about the daily influence we have on our children really struck me, and I'm learning as my kids get older that it's our example and ongoing conversation with these little creatures that is ever so important.  Here is the following unforeseen "mom duties" I have been attending to the past couple weeks (this is the short list of everything that didn't include the daily feeding, washing, clothing, and driving my children require):

• 
  
  A dead pet.  Yes, Miffy, our little bunny who thought it was a dog, bit the dust a couple weeks ago.  I received a call from our neighbor (who found Miffy dead on her lawn) while picking out a birthday party gift with three of the kids.  I told her to put the bunny in a bag and we'd come get it when we get home.  Sophie, unfortunately got off the bus alone, discovered our dead pet on our porch, and seemed to handle the trauma surprising well until I could make it home.  My duty:  keep calm, dole out long hugs to those who loved Miffy (everyone but Liza - she was thrilled the pest was gone), explain the purpose of life and death, and oversee the digging of Miffy's grave and funeral service (where Liza happily decorated the headstone).
• 
  
  Disappointments.  Later that evening, Caroline competed in her first G14 (girls age 13-15) tennis tournament where she was defeated quickly by an East HS varsity player.  My Duty:  offer as much encouragement as possible that she is a good tennis player, tell her she played great (while at the same time she tells me she played horrible), and continue to encourage her never to give up and try again.
• 
  
  Agency.  Learning a few days later that our children have their agency.  We can teach, direct, listen, offer advice, encourage, love, sacrifice, etc., but the hard part is realizing that our children will at times ignore our wise counsel and make their own decisions.  My Duty:  Continue to love, despite disappointment.  Forgive without bringing up the past.  Move forward without blaming myself, or even worse, thinking I've failed as a parent.
• 
  
  When the world crashes down on a 12-year old.  Realizing that it's not "just 7th grade" or "just dance company," but when making the Jr. High School Dance Company means everything to your daughter, and when her two best friends made it and she was cut, it was the end of the world.  Tears, tears, and more tears.  I've never seen Caroline so distraught, but I've also never seen her so resilient.  My Duty:  Stay positive, be her greatest supporter and cheerleader, continue to tell her she is a beautiful dancer and there just must have been a mistake made in the judging ;-).  And most important, let her know that life goes on and sometimes life just doesn't seem fair, but she'll be a stronger person for the experience.
• 
  
  Injuries:  Mine.  I don't function well if I am incapacitated and I can't be the mother my kids need.  On Wednesday this week I woke up to terrible pain in my foot after a long tennis match the night before.  I had been feeling slight pain for a few weeks, but refusing to rest and stay off my foot, I continued to run (even participated in a 5k race), hike, and play tennis.  Now I was done for, thought I had a stress fracture by the way my toes were swelling and how the slightest painful touch about did me in, and believed I had no hope now to train for my first marathon this fall.  My Duty:  REST (impossible) and stay off my feet and try my hardest not to be a grouch around the kids and anyone else . . . stay positive (ya, right), oh, and make a dr. appt. ASAP!  The one bright spot of my week - it's just inflamed joints, refraining from any weight bearing exercise for two weeks and some meds should heal my foot . . . phew, I can be a mom again :-).
• 
  
  Attention.  Something my little girls were going without considering everyone else's struggles of the week, as well as the ongoing process of trying to sell the home.  Homework assignments, spelling lists, and book reports were forgotten, one on one time was non-existent, and they had to rely on each other for company during these weeks that also included Caroline's spring dance performance, Ryan's end of season LAX stuff, school fundraisers, etc.  My Duty:  Try to make time, and we did.  Yesterday we took off for a movie ("How to Train your Dragon" - if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it) and lunch, then a relaxing Sunday and time together as a family - a nice weekend and the girls once again felt important.

So, in answer to the writer's question of what we do all day: well, it goes beyond anything I could have ever imagined even 10 years ago.  It is constant nurturing, teaching, loving, forgiving, protecting, reassuring, and many hugs and kisses thrown in for good measure.  It requires an amazing amount of patience, humility, faith, and hope . . . which many days I'm not sure I have enough, but somehow I do and realize that motherhood molds women into pillars of strength that cannot be found in any other occupation, and I am eternally grateful for that opportunity.

Inspiring

I just posted my Mother's Day post, but wanted to share this video with you all about an extraordinary woman and mother whose unbelievable story of strength and humility is a beautiful reminder of God's deep, powerful love, and the comfort he offers to each of us.  He truly knows us personally, and especially our struggles and heartaches.  If this amazing young woman can continue to find joy and happiness each day despite her setbacks, how much more do we have to be grateful . . .



To follow Stephanie's blog, click here.  You'll be inspired!

After I watched Stephanie's video, I stumbled upon another message about overcoming the afflictions and challenges of mortality.  This talk by Elder Cook is just so reassuring, and I hope it brings each of you more peace, understanding, and light . . .

Mom's Day

"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much."

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Great, no pressure!  I'm hoping "bungle" here means getting them all to the age of 18 and out of the house with as few emotional scars as possible and with enough common sense to make life decisions on their own . . . yikes, scary.

Well, another Mother's Day has passed, another weekend to remember how blessed I am to have the opportunity to raise these kids and reflect on the divine gift of motherhood.  It was also one of the greatest Mother's Days on record!

For me, I love celebrating this holiday with my family . . . forget time alone, time getting a massage or pedicure, and forget any gifts that come from a store.  This year was just special.  In the past I think Chris was unsure about how to go tackle this holiday, and therefore at times just pretend it didn't exist, which was quite hurtful.  However, this year, he asked what I would like to do for Mother's Day, what would make me happy.  It was very sweet and I know he is making an effort to help me feel acknowledged on this day.  Of course, he always seems so surprised when my requests are so simple - in his words, "you are so easy to please - that's it?" 

One of the many cards made by Liza - this was my favorite.

Here is the rundown of my ideal Mom's Day weekend . . . 

an outing: dinner (Greek) and movie ("Oceans") with Chris and the kids which even included a stop for ice-cream on our way home (check), thoughtful homemade gifts and cards, and Ryan's sweet words during FHE (check), plenty of hugs and kisses (check), Chris taking over my church calling as primary pianist so I could attend the other meetings (check), a long phone conversation with my mom (check), Chris' grilled steak for Sunday dinner and his help in the kitchen (check), time outside in the sun watching the kids play and Chris work with Liza on her bike (check), and finally, the sweet acknowledgement from my dear husband of my contributions to our family and how much it means to them that I am their mother (aahhh, check). 

I ended the day snuggling on the couch listening to Liza read, then just holding her with her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck while gently rubbing her warm back under her pjs, and thinking how truly wonderful it is to be a mom, how blessed I've been to spend every day in the presence of these children, and how much I'll miss them dearly when they're gone.

This was the watercolor Sophie created for me - I LOVE it!

BYU Women's Conference 2010

I came home brimming with renewed energy and filled with more . . .

Truth, Hope, Understanding, Testimony, Righteousness, Courage, Love, Faith, Mercy, Light, Goodness, Humility, Strength, Comfort, Forgiveness, Power, Wisdom, Obedience, Guidance, Peace, Compassion, Gratitude, Trust, Diligence.

Women's conference is truly a time to strengthen my testimony and feel the energy of so many righteous, faithful women in one place.  I come home rededicated to keeping my priorities aligned with the Lord's and more committed to having the spirit in my heart and home each day.  I feel completely rejuvenated and I am so grateful for the many volunteers, and especially the inspired speakers that made the conference possible.  It was such a treat to attend BOTH days this year and I'm already looking forward to next year's spiritual feast.

15 & 39

BIRTHDAY Celebrations! 

That would be Ryan's and mine, on the 14th and 16th of April respectively.  Ryan was the tiny, precious gift I brought home from the hospital on my birthday, Easter Sunday 1995, and here we are 15 years later, still sharing our favorite ice-cream cake.

Of course, I wasn't quick enough to get a picture of the two of us, but we did have our annual lunch together at Ryan's favorite spot, Himalayan Kitchen, where Surya (the owner) and staff wished him a happy 15th, and Ryan loved getting out of school for half the day :-). 

Here are some pics of our little family celebration later that evening after his lacrosse game (which unfortunately just had to be Judge, so he didn't get a win for his birthday) . . .

 Reading Sophie's card -
she wrote the sweetest card and couldn't wait to give him her gift.

M O N E Y . . . that is all he wanted this year, so we hid $20 bills in some of his favorite junk foods and wrapped them up - fun!

 Birthday love from the girls!

 Getting ready to blow out 15 candles - Happy Birthday son!

FIFTEEN reasons why we love Ryan . . .

1. You are extremely responsible.  We never have to worry about you forgetting to do your homework or turn in assignments in school, and you always wake up to the alarm in the morning.
2. You take an interest in our lives and ask questions . . . "How did Caroline do in her tennis match?"  "Did you have fun with your friends at dinner?"  "How was the movie with Dad?" . . .
3. You mow the lawn and do your own laundry.  Enough said.
4. You take disappointments in stride and try again.
5. You're a great leader and motivator.
6. Your favorite class in school is seminary.
7. You can finally out-ski your mom!
8. You make a mean fruit smoothie and always have plenty to share.
9. You are very easy to please and rarely ask for anything unnecessary.
10. You have a tender heart.
11. You love to tease your mom and sisters.  My favorite:  "I swear Mom - you're on drugs!"
12. You are a good friend.
13. You are dependable.  I know when I give you a list of chores on Saturday, they all get finished.  I know when I give you a time to be home, you honor our curfew and come home when asked.
14. You love and honor your grandparents.
15. You are unbelievably HANDSOME and get better looking every year!

As for my birthday celebration . . . I had purchased a "date night" basket at our elementary school's spring fundraiser last year which included a night in a suite at the Grand America and dinner at Cucina Toscana . . . hmmm, come to think of it, I believe I gave this to Chris for his birthday.  In typical Cantera fashion, we couldn't seem to find a weekend that we could get away until now.  April 16th this year fell on a Friday, and as luck would have it, we had NO games or obligations until 1pm on Saturday.  We figured now the kids are old enough, they could stay home take care of each other for one night.  WOW - freedom - it's pretty liberating knowing that we can now run downtown for a night without needing to find a babysitter!

Chris asked what I wanted to do for my birthday since he was going to take half the day off.  I thought an afternoon session at the Salt Lake temple would be lovely.  It was an absolutely beautiful day and the temple grounds were bursting with fresh, spring blooms at every turn.  After our time in the temple, we walked around the grounds and couldn't believe that it's been over 18 years since our wedding day at that very place.

After checking in, relaxing, and letting it sink in that there were NO responsibilities, we headed to a fabulous dinner at Cucina which always includes a warm embrace and compliments from the eccentric owner, Valter.  After dinner it was back to the hotel where we enjoyed an evening walk around the hotel courtyard and grounds, and time relaxing in the pool and spa . . . seriously, it's amazing how "away" you can feel just by leaving home, even if it is only 20 minutes away.

We were thrilled that checkout wasn't until noon the next day, so the celebration ended with sleeping in, watching the SL marathon runners make their way down State Street, and then the most relaxing couple hours I think I've ever spent poolside.  Yes, OUTDOOR -  we took advantage of the bright morning and headed out to the pool (yes, the outside temp. was only about 65, so no one else was even around :-).  It just felt oh, so good to feel the sun once again!

What a birthday, what a time to connect with my love, and what a perfect way to rejuvenate and recharge.  I came back home a better mom and ready to take on my final year in the 30's with added resolve to make it an amazing year!  Thanks Chris and family for making my 39th so special.

soul connection

"A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other's individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level.  This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. While a heart connection allows us to appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension."

John Welwood

I love quotes that speak to me, so I'm stealing this one from a friend of mine. I just think the term "soul connection" speaks volumes about those rare friendships one stumbles upon throughout life.  Those "kindred spirits" who connect with your inner core, and before you know it, you have a lifelong friend who understands you more completely than even you at times, understand yourself.

Like I said, these friendships are rare and I am grateful to have a small number of these connections.  Friends you trust with your heart and soul, who truly love and support your family, who cheer you on when discouragement sets in, and who will never let you down. Friends who encourage without judgment, listen with an open heart, and who understand your weaknesses and shortcomings without taking advantage of your vulnerability . . . and you do the same for them . . . a "soul connection."

CLICK HERE to read this quote in its entirety.

Happy 6th Birthday Liza

Yes, Liza is SIX!  Well, she turned six exactly a month ago (March 13th) and my goal was to post her birthday events before the next child’s birthday. So far so good . . . Ryan turns 15 tomorrow ;-).

Last Friday afternoon, after an agonizing month-long wait, Liza finally had her little birthday party at the Living Planet Aquarium. We had a nice, managable size group of six little girls, plus Sophie and friend Mia. Per Liza’s request, the party began with rousing games of “duck, duck, goose” and “button button,” followed by presents, then off to the aquarium, then back to the house for Liza’s favorite cupcakes and ice-cream.  Here are some pics from the festivities:

Liza was happy she finally got her promised "friends" party and I’m happy we put it together for her, even if it was at the last minute and with just a few good girlfriends. I’m glad I didn’t just bag the whole thing like I was tempted to do. Seriously, I feel like I “over promise and under deliver” so many times with my kids, it felt good to follow through this time :-).

Our dear Elizabeth,

You are the only child we know who screams and cries on a Sunday morning when dressed in a beautiful dress with pretty bows in your hair: “YOU’RE RUINING MY LIFE!”

You delight us with your uniqueness and non-conformity. You like doing things your own way and don’t follow the crowd. Of course you are the only child in kindergarten who, when the class is decorating giant paper gingerbread men at Christmas, decides to turn yours into the Easter Bunny because “everyone else is doing gingerbread men.”

You enlighten us with your non-stop questions. Especially about the resurrection, this topic seems to intrigue you like no other. The other night while tucking you in bed and answering yet another round of “when we get resurrected” questions, you told us “all animals will get resurrected . . . except the ones that get squished, right?”

Your bright mind, keen awareness of life around you, and especially your loving heart are what endear you to our family. We love you dearly Liza and wonder what our lives were like before you entered this world. Happy 6th Birthday!

Love,
Your family

Daily thoughts

Each day I've been reading a scripture from the Old Testament followed by a short commentary.  I figure it's going to be about as close as I'll come to this year's study of the Old Testament.  I did take "Old Testament" in college and think once through the entire book will suffice until the children are out of the house ;-).  So, I thought every now and again this year it would be nice to share a scripture and thought that spoke to me, and may make a difference in your lives as well . . .

"And thou shalt remember all the ways which the Lord thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart."

Deuteronomy 8:2

Commentary:  "This life is full of 'wilderness experiences' that test our mettle and provide opportunities to soften our hearts.  Indeed, our hearts are revealed in the crucibles of suffering.  We can become bitter or angry because of tribulations, or we can become stronger, more faithful and humble.  These divine tutorials are preparing us for life hereafter, even as they expand our souls in mortality.  We can develop the attributes of godliness in the furnace of affliction.  We can prove ourselves worthy of exaltation.  In life's journey, the Lord will not leave us comfortless.  As he did for ancient Israel, the Lord will lead and guide us.  If we stay on the path and strive for righteousness with all our hearts despite mistakes and shortcomings, he will not abandon us or forsake us.  His promise is sure."

"Do I wear you out?"

This was Liza's question (just one of the hundreds she asked during the day) to me last night after she asked if she could climb on my lap and watch youtube clips of her favorite movie she's never seen, Slumberdog (sic) Millionaire.  While I searched for the clips, she continued her one sided conversation, it went something like this:

"I think I wear you out - you look tired."  um, ya, it's almost 9pm and you should be in bed, but insist on seeing the little boys from the movie steal bread from the roof of the train.

" . . . like OLIVIA, in the book, I'm just like Olivia huh -  she wears everyone out!"  can't disagree on that point.

"Oh, I don't want to see the part when they burn the eyes out"  sheesh, does anything get past this kid??  Don't worry, I won't show that part.

"Do you think when I'm nine you'll let me watch Slumberdog?"  probably . . . I'll be so worn out by then you'll get away with anything.

Those ramblings were the follow up from a conversation we had a few days ago in the car with Caroline.  I should know by now that whenever I play the soundtrack from Slumdog Millionaire, Liza will start in with a barrage of questions.  This is how it played out:

Liza: Ohhh, Slumberdog music . . . what's going on in the movie now?

Liza:  When do I get to watch the movie, Ryan and Caroline got to watch it!

Me:  It's not really a kids movie, it's a little too violent.

Liza:  It is too a kids movie, there are KIDS in it!  What does "violent" mean?

Me:  Well, there are kids in it, but there are things that might scare you.  Violent means people with guns, and people who get really angry and do things that aren't right like hit or shoot people.

Liza:  That's ok, I don't mind.

Me:  SIGH . . . hmmm, maybe i'll let you watch a little part.

Caroline pipes in:  Well, just don't let her see the part when they pour the acid in the kid's eyes.  Thanks a lot Caroline - here comes another round of questions . . .

Liza:  WHAT??  What did you say they did to the kid's eye?  What's acid?  Does it hurt?  What happened to their eyes?

Let's just say that for the past two days I've been answering every question an overly inquisitive 6-year old can imagine that has to deal with children in India, why children have acid poured in their eyes, why they beg in India, why they are blind, if everyone in India is violent or just a few people, if all children in India get to ride on the top of trains . . . . .

Yes, Liza, there are days when you wear me out, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Like last night just before bed, while I knelt down with my two precious youngest daughters for prayer (big kids and dad were at the Jazz game) and enjoyed this sweet conversation:

Liza:  When conference was on the tv, I heard someone say that Heavenly Father loves us even more than our parents, is that true?

Me:  Yes, that's true, believe it or not, we love you so much, but Heavenly Father's love is even deeper and more powerful.  It's probably hard to understand that, but it's true.

Sophie:  Ya, Heavenly Father never gets mad at you like your mom and dad!!

Liza:  He doesn't get mad, but He can get disappointed.

Me:  (thinking - "did she really just say that? quite insightful"). You're right, yes, he does get disappointed in us sometimes because we aren't obedient and don't choose the right, but he knows we'll make mistakes and still loves us and wants us to choose the right.

Liza:  I know he loves me . . . I think he gives me a hug every night when I am sleeping.

Out of the mouth of babes.

Chris is planning . . .

our 19th anniversary trip!

Yes, that was not a misprint, CHRIS is planning this trip and calls every couple hourse to get my opinion on his most recent itinerary or sends a link to his latest hotel find.  It's been so much fun to plan and we are starting to really get excited for this trip.  It was almost 11 years since we were last in Europe (celebrating our 8th anniversary and leaving our 4 & 2 year-old children behind) and we're hoping this trip will be as magical as the last.

Paris at night - on top of the Arc de Triomphe - 1999.

In September we are leaving our 15, 13, 9, and 6 year-old children home and heading to Madrid, Barcelona, and Paris (after several itinerary changes including Northern Spain, Southern France, and Austria).  Three cities in 10 days and short flights between them all (instead of hours on trains).  My wonderful husband has immersed himself in picking the destinations and planning the itinerary.

This will be the first time I've been to Barcelona, where Chris served his mission almost 25 years ago, and the first time to meet his relatives who live in the city, oh, and who don't speak English (and I don't speak Spanish - should be interesting :-).  Chris stopped in Spain last year for a few days for a visit before heading up to the UK for business, and was in Barcelona a few years before that trip.  I, on the other hand, am dying to go.  We are both needing for a trip alone together - it's been too long (India didn't count as an "alone" trip since any time we had together was also with his fellow employees) and I think Chris is feeling the need to connect and have an adventure together as much as I have!

OK, this is too much.  Just a minute ago while working on this post he came home from work, told me to go sit on the couch with my eyes closed and hold out my hands, whereupon he placed this little surprise:

Seriously, what a guy - LOVE him!!!!