civility

Yesterday while running the trails behind our home on what was an absolutely stunning autumn afternoon, my thoughts were focused on the previous evening's presidential debate and the increasingly venomous attacks that continue to escalate via social media after such events.

What has happened to civil discourse in our society among its citizens?  As a mother, I am trying to teach my children to behave with respect and dignity when speaking to others and about others, regardless their opinion of that person.  It is disheartening, especially when I see such attacks coming from women, to read such crass and disrespectful comments.  Yesterday a woman compared Mitt Romney's platform to that of the Taliban, and if elected we would see more violence like the young 14-year old Pakistani girl who was shot . . . "those with opinions will be shot" were her final words.  Really?  Really?  There were only two of us who made comments in retort that her statement was out of line.  Even more baffling are the women who stoop so low to name calling or attacking the families, personal lives, and religious affliations of the candidates.  I've heard one candidate more than once called a "douche" by a seemingly educated woman. Can anyone state a logical argument or express their viewpoint without spewing venom?

Of course, we all have opinions and our freedom of speech allows us to share these with others; it is one of the great freedoms which  makes this country magnificent. Many of us enjoy watching or listening to the debates as important issues are discussed and disputed.  However, why must so many lose their self respect and display such vile anger in their crude personal attacks via comments and silly pictures on the internet, and what is this teaching our children?  A few weeks ago, I posted my "life lessons" for my daughters and think I should add another pointer:

"NEVER become a women who loses her civility, dignity, or decency while defending or promoting a personal opinion or life choice.  Always treat others with courtesy and respect, regardless of how you feel about their views, and never back down while standing up for what you believe."

"Blessed are the peacemakers . . ."

Deactivate

It was time for a break.  It was cluttering my mind and taking precious time away from things that matter most.  I battled back and forth, discussing the pros and cons endlessly with myself.

So yes, I committed social suicide last week by leaving facebook - gasp.

It was like breaking up with a really cool, but unstable boyfriend.  The guy you think is really great for you because everyone says how amazing you are together, but deep down you know he's nothing but trouble.  Really, I liked facebook, a lot.  I love to socialize - I'm a overly social person (if you haven't figured that out already ;-).  I still remember my 8th grade English teacher reminding me that if my academic skills were as brilliant as my social skills, I'd be a genius.

Of course we were a perfect match.  However, my desire to be social and my love of people and friends led me to forget the things that deep down I know make me the happiest and bring the most fulfillment. Facebook became my "downtime" and began to slowly replace the activities that used to fill that precious time.  A few weeks ago, I realized it had been so long since I'd really sat down at the piano, which used to be one of my favorite downtime activities.

So I'm taking a long break from social media.  I have to admit that the habit to check facebook is strong, but the feeling of freedom is stronger.  I don't know if it will be a forever thing because there are many qualities I liked about the site, but for now, being out of the loop and not knowing what everyone is up to has been unbelievably liberating.

I'm sure I'll be back eventually, and when I make that decision I'll most likely discreetly log on and clear out a few "friends" whom I really don't even know personally, and hopefully my reunion with facebook will be much more healthy and stable :-).

Speaking of milestones . . .

The little girls are now officially capable of being left alone at the club to finish tennis/swim lessons, order lunch, and hang out with their friends at the pool.

By themselves.

I tackled a major Costco run and picked them up on the way home.

Another win-win.

HUGE.