my daughter

Caroline turned 16 last week.  I love/admire/adore her for so many reasons, but for tonight I just have to share one reason that makes me smile . . .

Her uncanny sense of humor and the typical twitter post:

Every now and then I jump on my teens' twitter accounts.  Count it as a little "checking in" and a whole lot of entertainment.  Caroline's sloth posts crack me up.

Thank you Lord for sending me this girl to raise - she's truly one of a kind.

42 life lessons for my daughters

I'm not sure if my oldest daughter actually enjoys conversing about her life with me, but I'm happy when she opens up and discusses her day to day happenings.  We have had some truly special conversations, especially since she hit the confusion and angst of Jr. High, and I am grateful for bond we share.  Now that she's entered high school I've been ruminating about some of the conversations we've shared over the past few years . . . these "life lessons" I'm trying to instill in her and her sisters.  So here goes, my list of things I want my girls to remember as they navigate adolescence and the future:

• Be kind.  It's more important to be kind than to be right.
• If you want to become great at something, work at it and put in the hours.
• Look people in the eye when you speak to them.
• Find a passion, do the things you love.
• "Don't allow your happiness to depend on something you may lose." (C.S. Lewis)
• Treat your family the same way you treat your friends.
• Education is one of the greatest investments you can make.  Work hard in school. Make your studies a priority.  Go to college.
• Never let a boy come between you and your best friend.  Keep your friendships strong.
• Listen to your heart.
• Don't worry about what other people think.  EVER.  "Be who you are and say what you will, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." (Dr. Seuss).
• Forgive.  Be the first to say "I'm sorry."
• Develop compassion.  
• Take walks.  Go on a hike.  Let the beauty of the earth refresh and invigorate you.
• Have faith that things will work out.
• Open your heart to others.  Be the first to say "hello," the first to offer a compliment, and the first to say "I love/miss you."
• Don't follow the crowd.
• Be strong.  Your strength will astound you.
• Never lose the desire to read a good book.  Never stop learning.
• Jr. High girls are fickle.  Jr. High boys are clueless.  Everyone grows up by senior year (almost everyone ;).
• Be careful with your language.  Never use words such as "suck, loser, piss, or fart" when speaking or writing . . . it's uncouth and not ladylike.
• Drink plenty of water.  Stay away from soda. 
• Listen to your dad . . . he'll offer some of the best advice you'll ever receive.
• If you're feeling insecure or doubting yourself, reach out to someone who needs a lift more than you.
• Keep a journal.  Writing when you are happy/sad/frustrated/elated/angry is wonderful therapy.
• Be trustworthy.  Be someone who can keep confidences.
• Wake up each morning with a grateful heart.  Practice gratitude.
• Be confident.  Let it shine through your smile and demeanor.
• Allow your mom into your life.  Believe it or not, she's been there.  Let her be your friend.
• Never lose your childlike wonder.
• Laugh.  Be happy.  Find joy.
• Build your testimony.  Study and pray . . . find out for yourself.
• Never stop asking questions.
• Don't trust everyone.  Be selective with those with whom you share your deepest thoughts and life experiences.
• Stay grounded and avoid drama.
• Learn how to bake.
• Everyone deserves a second chance.
• Stay close to your sisters and brother.
• Don't gossip.  Lift others, don't bring them down.
• Practice self control.
• Mistakes happen.  Wipe the slate clean and start again.
• Always look for the good.
• "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." (Maya Angelou)

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

Last night the little girls and I headed downtown to see the Broadway tour of Mary Poppins.  It was absolutely delightful, enchanting, and literally pure magic from beginning to end.  If you know me, you know how much I love the theater.  It's always a treat to share my adoration for the stage with my children.

Sophie's favorite were the chimney sweeps and tap dancing in Step in Time, Liza's favorite was the choreography in Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (which was unbelievable), and I would have to say I was completely taken in by the soaring kites during Let's go Fly a Kite, along with the fantastic sets and brilliant scenery (especially for "It's a Jolly Holiday").  Also, the actress who played Mary was "practically perfect" in every sense of the word.

If you have kids and haven't seen this musical, we highly recommend going before it leaves town at the end of the month.  You won't be disappointed - adults and children alike!

Livin' the DREAM

Cowgirl Heaven

Last week Sophie's dream of riding a horse for days on end and even participating in a rodeo came true.  If you are not aware of her fascination with all things HORSE that began at age 6, you can read about it here, here, and here.  Even her bedroom is decorated with a sweet horse quilt, a framed horse watercolor she painted, and plenty of "Breyer" horse collectibles and stuffed animals.

So, after a few years of riding lessons and realizing that we are obviously not ranch people nor will ever own a horse, I made a deal that if she discontinued the lessons she could have an entire week at "rodeo camp."  Sophie readily agreed, and after finding the perfect cowgirl hat, boots, rodeo shirt, and silver buckled belt, she was off to spend a week in breathtaking Island Park, Idaho with other kids who love horses as much as she does!

It turned out to be the stuff dreams are made of, and the morning I went to pick her up, she was begging to stay another week.  While she was at the camp, Liza and I had a mini vacation ourselves which is just what our neglected child needed - one on one time with mom . . . win-win.  I'm sure this will become a tradition because Sophie is already talking about next year and how she is definitely going back . . .

 Riding into the arena

 Watching her was pure joy

The kids even sang for us and line-danced too!

What a fun evening with my girls!

 Spying on Sophie and camp kids as they ride in from the lake

 Embarrassing Sophie as we check in while the kids are having dinner

Liza taking it easy at Mack's

 Heading out on a hike - such a trooper to stick with me for 5 miles

 That's my girl!

 We even enjoyed an evening of culture on the banks of the Henry's Fork - these kids were amazing! (my friend's daughter is in the center)

For more pics of our time in beautiful Island Park, click here.

My daughter, my concert buddy!

Last week I learned that one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Joshua Radin was in town (yes, it happened to be the DAY of the performance - I have no idea where I was that I missed this tour date).  After some deliberation if I should really be spontaneous and a little careless of other responsibilities, I thought I would first run it by his number one 13-year old fan.

Well, there was absolutely no question that WE WERE GOING after I mentioned the concert to Caroline when she arrived home from school. So, with a few phone calls to take care of Sophie's tennis carpool (thanks Lori for taking over) and what was supposed to be a quick stop at Smith's to pick up tickets on our way to drop off Ryan at Jiu Jitsu (our car battery died while I was in the store - had to have a neighbor - thanks AMY - drive down to give us a jump start and we lost a precious half hour of what would have translated into a spot closer to the stage).

The good news is that we made it just in time to discover another beautiful songwriter,  Laura Jansen. Caroline fell in love with her voice immediately and can't wait for the release of her first album on March 22nd. Laura even personally signed a CD single of her song Single Girls for Caroline. She was THRILLED!

I find it refreshing that in today's teen culture and in the midst of "Bieber Fever," my daughter enjoys Indie music and seeks out new, fresh voices that encompass pure talent rather than the karaoke clones cranked out by major recording studios. When most 13-year old girls are waiting in line with other swooning teen fans to see latest Justin Beiber 3D movie, Caroline would rather go to a small, intimate concert venue with unbelievable acoustics, listening to talented artists who write their own music and lyrics.   And the sweetest part is that, at least for now, she doesn't mind attending with her mom :-).

Some more pics (taken from my lousy phone camera - better than nothing) . . .

We were able to get closer for Radin's performance - he was delightful and sounded AMAZING!

After the concert - Caroline next to a poster for Laura Jansen

What fun - let's do it again my friend!!

Kindred Spirits

"Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”

~ Anne Shirley ~ 
(Anne of Green Gables)

This evening I found myself engaged in yet another thoughtful conversation with our ever perceptive teenage daughter.  Sometimes I wonder if moving closer to schools and activities might hinder some of these precious discussions that seem to take shape slowly and deliberately during our 20 minutes of time together in the car.

Of course, what was on Caroline's mind is all too familiar: why we "click" so easily with some people, and others we just don't feel much of a connection, even when they are wonderful people.  I believe it's a question everyone asks.  I find it interesting that the most popular post on this blog is entitled "Soul Connection" which includes an insightful quote on the meaning of these connections, these kindred spirits we occasionally run across during our sojourn here on earth.  Every day my blog receives several hits from google with people searching "soul connection" . . . "what is a soul connection?" . . . "do soul connections exist?" etc.

Our conversation this evening gave me an opportunity to reflect on those unique friendships that have been so meaningful, and help Caroline understand that she will always have these soul connections throughout her life, and most importantly that they will find her when she least expects them and when she needs them the most.  It was rewarding for me to hear which friends of hers she is experiencing this deep bond with at the moment, and how they are influencing her life.  Also, to share with her the special friendships of my own and how I stumbled upon these kindred spirits with whom there was an immediate connection, be it at age seven or thirty-seven.

A month or so ago while listening to a book review on NPR, the author noted, "Our deepest desire is that others will see us as we see ourselves."  I think that is what a soul connection is at it's core.  It's those rare souls who can look directly into our hearts, know who we are, build us up, and love us despite our weaknesses and frailties.  As Jackson Browne so eloquently reminds me in this line from his introspective song, These Days:  "Don't confront me with my failures, I had not forgotten them."

How blessed we are to be led to those who overlook our faults, help us grow, and consistently remind us of our strengths.

So, to all the kindred spirits that I have found, and to those I have yet to meet, I thank you for your friendship, love, example, spirit, patience, advice, laughter, and wisdom . . .

May my daughter ever be so blessed.

Nutcracker Nostalgia

Today I took my daughters to The Nutcracker ballet.  It was the first time in five years that Caroline was part of the audience rather than dancing on stage, and I think it was just as nostalgic for her as it was for me.  I couldn't believe that it was just five years ago when she was one of the little buffoons finding her way out of that immense skirt . . . and those party girl ringlets, night after night struggling to get her hair to curl just right before a performance . . . and her soldier bun that was practically impossible to get on top of her head.  I was awash with memories of bobby-pins, make-up, helping backstage, and hours in the car driving to and from rehearsals.

Caroline decided last month to hang up her pointe shoes for good and focus entirely on tennis.  It was a difficult decision after so many years of dance, but we both felt it was the right thing to do.  However, she struggled today after watching her friends perform and continue to excel in ballet.  Last week I found myself becoming a little emotional while organizing a box filled with leotards, tights, and ballet slippers that will no longer be worn.  Sophie declared last year after her ballet recital that "dance just isn't for me," and Liza has absolutely no interest.  I thought just maybe after watching the performance this afternoon, Liza just might want to dance after all, but nope, she's happy playing soccer and skiing.

I honestly can't believe this phase of motherhood is over . . . hundreds of visits to the dance store for tights, shoes, and leotards; years of attending annual spring recitals; and hours spent fixing tight buns in my daughters' hair . . . these are no longer part of my life.

The good news is that my daughters and I will always enjoy the beauty of a ballet performance together, without the headache of helping prepare one of them to perform :-).

Morning hike

We thought last weekend was beautiful, but the canyons this weekend have been simply magnificent, unreal, and bursting with color! I just can't get enough of days like today,and unfortunately we didn't have our camera to capture the
blazing leaves and gorgeous mountainside on our hike up to the reservoir, but Sophie reminded me of the phone so we did manage to get a couple so-so pictures.  Leaving our trailhead behind will truly be the hardest part of moving (if it ever even happens).

Thanks girls for a most splendid Saturday morning hike.  How blessed we are to live amongst such overwhelming beauty.  Tomorrow: family hike up RED PINES!!

Perfect

This evening I took the little girls and some friends up to go hiking in one of my favorite places on earth, Albion Basin.  It couldn't have been more perfect: wildflowers in full splendor, cool temperatures, fresh mountain air, quiet trails, and even a gorgeous bull moose munching away right on the trail.  Indeed we are so blessed to find this beauty just 20 minutes up the canyon . . . remind me again why we are moving??

Last trip of the summer

Last weekend the girls and I drove up to a little, tiny town in Idaho to spend some time with my friend Maria and her boys. It's one of those places that you might drive through and wonder to yourself "what do people do here?" And I LOVED it - it was wonderful to take a step back and slow down and enjoy a quiet way of life if only for a couple of days. It's one of those towns where everyone knows everyone else and since I was with a Packham, everyone in town seemed to know a Packham since Mark's dad grew up here.

We took all the kids to the local county fair and pro rodeo - ok, SO much fun - we really got into it, buying the program and learning about all the different events - even cheering for local cowboys from Fairfield. Another highlight was attending the small branch on Sunday - our six kids almost tripled the primary, increasing it's numbers from four to ten! We met so many humble, kind people and were grateful to be included among them. Thanks so much to Mark's family for such a warm welcome, and especially to his aunt Nancy for an amazing meal at her home and the time she spent sharing her horses with my girls.

About another week . . .

until the wildflowers are GONE!


Saturday morning I grabbed whoever was up and interested in a hike to Cecret Lake in Albion Basin. Caroline and Sophie were the takers on this jaunt. It seemed that during the past two weeks, every time I planned to get up there, the clouds rolled in and it began to thunder . . . and believe me, that's one place you DON'T want to be when there is lightning. I was afraid we had missed the wildflowers, but they are still in bloom and absolutely beautiful. Here are a few pics from our hike:
The best part - making it to the lake, taking off shoes and socks and feeling that cool water.

Our cute little beggar friend. He was quite fond of fruit leather - "potgut on a sugar high" :-).

Our Books, Our Daughters

This afternoon Sophie and I attended our fourth neighborhood "Mother & Daughter Book group." We began these little gatherings last summer as a way to share our love for the classics we treasured as young girls with our own daughters. Today's discussion, followed by the brilliantly casted movie, was Anne of Green Gables, truly one of the most inspiring and tender books ever written. I remember reading it out loud to Caroline when she was about Sophie's age, and then a few years later watching her become completely engaged in Anne's antics and imagination once again as she read it on her own a couple of years later. I still own the same copy of the book that I read as a girl and vividly remember finding myself (along with my friend Rachel) so engrossed in Anne's life on Prince Edward Island that we would act out parts of the book . . . even cutting off pieces of our hair to give to each other as a token of our friendship, and to this day I still refer to my dearest of friends as "kindred spirits." Caroline just finished Anne of Avonlea (the sequel), however, she stopped attending these discussions because she realized all the other little girls hovered around the age of 8, so that's all it took for her to boycott the outings. She did, however, love our very first group when we read and discussed Little Women (with some older girls) - she truly learned so many lessons from Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy. Not to mention the insights I gained into motherhood by listening closely to the wisdom so freely offered by patient Marmee.

It is no wonder that one of my greatest joys right now is sharing these treasured books with my own children. Maybe that's the reason I was blessed with three girls - we're already planning our trip to P.E.I. as soon as Liza can read the book! Anyway, after the discussion we all gathered to watch the movie together. It doesn't matter how many times I've seen this film, it's a classic. It's one of those rare films that captures the book's characters and scenery so beautifully through it's music and cinematography that you just relish every delightful minute. It was a pleasure to just spend time with my Sophie, cuddled on a couch, giggling at Anne's gregarious and stubborn nature, while watching her grow and mature into a bright, talented, and strong young woman. I can't think of a more poignant, sweet message for our daughters.

"Under the Big Top"

Well, the annual ballet recital was a success . . . meaning I successfully had all three girls in costume with hair and make-up and to the theater only 10 minutes past the time they were supposed to be there. Now, if my mom wasn't helping me get them ready, we would have really been in trouble! Thanks to everyone who came and supported our girls, it was a delightful evening and ever so entertaining thanks to Liza's onstage "Lion" antics, Sophie's intense focus during her rousing "circus horse dancer" performance, and Caroline's beautiful dancing. A fun evening for all . . . .

Caroline, Grandma Pat, Grandpa Terry, Grandma Janice, Liza, and Sophie

The "Entertainer of the Year" award goes to . . . . LIZA, for the best circus lion performance EVER, oh, and don't forget keeping the entire audience in stitches during her time on stage!
My three beautiful dancers.
Elizabeth and uncle Travis after the show.

A Preview

Tomorrow evening is the annual ballet recital and this year all three girls are performing. As they were waiting with their friends across the street for a ride down to the dress rehearsal I couldn't resist the photo op, so here you go: one ferocious LION, one darling ACROBAT, two fancy CIRCUS riders, and one sweet ELEPHANT.

Obviously, the recital is entitled "Under the Big Top" and from what I saw at this evening's rehearsal it is about the cutest thing ever!

Everyone is welcome - 7 pm Saturday night - call us for details.