strength

I ran across this yesterday.

A gentle reminder to be kind.

Have a blessed day!

know.it.all.

I have a problem.  Alright, it's been awhile since I've aired my weaknesses, so I figured we're due.  Thank goodness for teenagers, at least mine anyway, because they have absolutely no qualms about telling you exactly where you fall short in your social interactions with others.  Which is why I wasn't at all surprised when Caroline announced that I need to "take it easy" and try not to sound so condescending around people, especially other adults.  In her words:  "Mom, don't be such a know-it-all . . . it makes people feel dumb when they're around you."

Chris was in the room and burst out laughing because, yes, as much as I hate to admit it, there is some truth in her statement.  The problem is that I'm not intentionally trying to "one up" another person or be condescending, but rather that I seem to have so much information floating around my head, it needs to unload somewhere and I figure "who doesn't want to be enlightened by this knowledge?!"  Sigh.

Caroline's frustration arose after our "scripture feast" Young Women's activity last week (an annual tradition - such a wonderful evening), and I thought everything went off without a hitch and was fabulous . . . until Caroline mentioned my problem.  I know, she's a little extra sensitive because I'm her mom and I completely understand that my role is to never embarrass her.  Enough said.

Anyway, I suppose it began when I started pointing out extra scriptures and historical references to enhance the girls' understanding, which Caroline said was fine because the girls seemed to enjoy listening and learning, but when she realized none of the leaders knew what I was taking about, that's when I was hitting the danger zone. Then I really plowed into unwanted territory when I blurted out the correct quote someone had misquoted, and then without listening the the internal voice that was screaming for me to shut up, I offered the correct author of the quote.  UGH.  I must have sounded something like this . . . "oh, and I believe the person who originally penned that phrase was Eleanor Roosevelt."  Not Good.  Apparently I didn't see Caroline rolling her eyes as I dug myself into a pit of unsolicited, trivial information.

I applaud my daughter for bringing this short sightedness to my attention and I promised I would watch myself, especially during Young Women activities and in church.  Well, that lasted about, um, a day.  This morning during a meeting with the presidency and our advisers all was going well and I was keeping unnecessary comments and thoughts to myself . . . until our conversation drifted to include an unfamiliar neighbor (who is from Iran) whose mother is in the hospital, and what we could do to help the family.  I said, "Oh, I've met her, she's lovely, she's Persian, right?"  The gal next to me answered, "No she isn't, she's Iranian."  And before she could even exhale her remark, I responded with "It's the SAME THING . . . Persia is Iran, people who live in Iran are Persian."  And I'm sure she could hear the inaudible "duh" at the end because an immediate feeling of "Julie, could you be any more annoying" immediately presented itself from around the table before I could kick myself for being such an idiot.

Sigh.  I'll get better.  Please don't take offense and if it will help, just think of me as the female version of Dwight . . .

happy thanksgiving

The turkey is roasting, the rolls are rising, dishes are (for the moment) done, the fire is blazing, big kids are skiing, and the girls and I are headed out for a Thanksgiving walk in the sun.

My heart is full and mere words cannot describe the gratitude I feel towards my family, the gospel, and the beauty which I have been so blessed to observe each day.

I am content . . .

laugh

"The most wasted of all days is 

one without laughter."

e.e. cummings

welcome winter

Last weekend it snowed, and snowed, and snowed for almost two straight days.  We lost power for most of the day on Saturday, but no one minded much since they played outside the entire day, and even when it became dark and cold the girls thought it was awesome to play games by candlelight with headlamps (thank goodness we had power before bed :).  When the sun came out Sunday afternoon we had amassed over 30".  The kids couldn't have been more delighted!

Our yard on Saturday . . .

The same trees on Sunday (and patio table - crazy!). . .

The snow was so deep Lucy was literally swimming in the white stuff!

I couldn't resist taking a video.

I find great satisfaction in stepping in fresh snow - even if I'm still in my skirt and boots after church.

Caroline built an awesome igloo for all the neighbor kids and Chris and I made sledding tracks for them down our sidewalk. (Sophie wouldn't be in the picture and Liza wasn't that thrilled that I lost it after they had been arguing over hot chocolate for the past 15 minutes . . . )

Another video of the dog trying to find the squirrels on the mountainside across the street - too funny!

Monday morning - I couldn't let a morning like this pass by without a little snowshoeing in pristine Neff's Canyon . . . Ahhhh.

Caroline and friends enjoying their first day on the slopes together.  Opening day at Solitude was yesterday and Ryan celebrated his first day skiing today at Snowbird.  Yes, they both missed school and every year when the attendance secretary asks "reason for absence," I reply with "mental health day."  Always works :).

Gilead

 Last week I finished reading Marilynne Robinson's exquisite novel, Gilead yet again. This is a book to be savored. A beautiful story told by the Reverend John Ames through a series of letters to his young son as he contemplates his life, his history, and the future of his wife and son. Robinson's brilliant observations and lyrical prose set this novel apart from so many other contemporary writings. Her knowledge of the relationship between fathers and sons, as well as her deep understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ is remarkable. This is one of my favorite books and after finishing the final chapter, I felt as if saying good-bye to an old friend. However, I'm sure it won't be long I pick it up once again to be tutored by the ever wise, yet humble, John Ames.

Here are a few excerpts that I found particularly noteworthy during this reading:

". . . it's your existence I love you for, mainly.  Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined.  I'm about to put on imperishability.  In an instant, in the twinkling of an eye . . .  The twinkling of an eye. That is the most wonderful expression.  I've thought from time to time it was the best thing in life, that little incandescence you see in people when the charm of a thing strikes them, or the humor of it. The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart.  That's a fact."

 "Our dream of life will end as dreams do end, abruptly and completely, when the sun rises, when the light comes.  And we will think, All that fear and all that grief were about nothing.  But that cannot be true.  I can't believe we will forget our sorrows altogether.  That would mean forgetting that we had lived, humanly speaking.  Sorrow seems to me to be a great part of the substance of human life. . . ."

"This is an important thing, which I have told many people, and which my father told me, and which his father told him.  When you encounter another person, when you have dealings with anyone at all, it is as if a question is being put to you.  So you must think, What is the Lord asking of me in this moment, in this situation?  If you confront insult or antagonism, your first impulse will be to respond in kind.  But if you think, as it were, This is an emissary sent from the Lord, and some benefit is intended for me . . . You are free to act by your own lights.  You are freed at the same time of the impulse to hate or resent that person.  He would probably laugh at the thought that the Lord sent him to you for your benefit (and his), but that is the perfection of the disguise, his own ignorance of it."

"In every important way we are such secrets from each other, and I do believe that there is a separate language in each of us, also a separate aesthetics and a separate jurisprudence.  Every single one of us is a little civilization built on the ruins of any number of preceding civilizations, but with our own variant notions of what is beautiful and what is acceptable-- which, I hasten to add, we generally do not satisfy and by which we struggle to live.  We take fortuitous resemblances among us to be actual likeness, because those around us have also fallen heir to the same customs, trade in the same coin, acknowledge, more or less, the same notions of decency and sanity.  But all that really just allows us to coexist with the inviolable, untraversable, and utterly vast spaces between us."

so grateful

It's November and I would be amiss not to post at least one "gratitude" post.

So here it is . . .


Salt Lake City finally has it's very own TITLE NINE store and yes, I was so ecstatic that I visited this weekend before the sign was even up.

And, to make life even sweeter, ATHLETA will open in 9 days at City Creek (yep, just sent in my RSVP for the pre-opening event).

Alright, call me shallow, but I don't really "shop" and to have my TWO favorite stores arrive in Salt Lake within a few weeks of each other is nothing short of miraculous.

Truly grateful :).

images of china

 Last week Chris and I returned from China.

It was amazing and I would go back in a heartbeat.  I wasn't prepared to love it as much as I did and enjoyed every minute.  Chris was working in Shanghai during the first few days of the trip while I was visiting the sites with a guide, then we flew to Bejing to spend the last three days together.  Hopefully I'll get around to a day-by-day posting of my favorite pictures (I took a TON), but for now I just had to share a few from my phone . . .

One of the many bronze lions guarding the halls in the Forbidden City

Shanghai financial district (Pudong) along the Huangpu river.  This was our view from the restaurant one evening (one of the perks that comes with accompanying Chris on business :).

Bejing - outside the Forbidden City north gate.  

The pollution added just the right touch to this pic ;).

One of the many "lake rock" formations within the Forbidden City

The Great Wall of China at Mutianyu.  UNBELIEVABLE!

This was our turn around spot on the great wall . . . it was breathtaking.

"Jade Buddah" Temple (working Buddhist temple) in Shanghai.

I loved the incense burners and watching the believers burn incense and pray.

Kumning Lake - Summer Palace, Bejing

Tai Chi Master practicing along the banks of the lake.  This was really fascinating to watch.

About the coolest wall I've ever seen (Shanghai) . . .  a mile of FLOWERS!

The Forbidden City - in front of one of the grand halls.  

We were quite the tourist attraction for all the Chinese coming to Bejing . . . 

really, it seemed we were the only westerners visiting the city that day and garnered quite a few stares.

Forbidden City "Hall of Supreme Harmony"

Yu Yuen Gardens, Shanghai.  I loved old Shanghai and these gardens which are remnants of a noble family's home and gardens during the Ming and Xing dynasties

Beautiful "wish" lanterns at the Jade Buddah Temple, Shanghai

Charting our course on the wall . . . 

yep, climb that hill, traverse across the ridge and up to the next mountain range!!

Hopefully more pictures and tales from our adventures coming soon (but don't hold your breath - this may be it or follow my "instagram" posts - I uploaded a bunch while we were on the trip: username = juliecantera).

civility

Yesterday while running the trails behind our home on what was an absolutely stunning autumn afternoon, my thoughts were focused on the previous evening's presidential debate and the increasingly venomous attacks that continue to escalate via social media after such events.

What has happened to civil discourse in our society among its citizens?  As a mother, I am trying to teach my children to behave with respect and dignity when speaking to others and about others, regardless their opinion of that person.  It is disheartening, especially when I see such attacks coming from women, to read such crass and disrespectful comments.  Yesterday a woman compared Mitt Romney's platform to that of the Taliban, and if elected we would see more violence like the young 14-year old Pakistani girl who was shot . . . "those with opinions will be shot" were her final words.  Really?  Really?  There were only two of us who made comments in retort that her statement was out of line.  Even more baffling are the women who stoop so low to name calling or attacking the families, personal lives, and religious affliations of the candidates.  I've heard one candidate more than once called a "douche" by a seemingly educated woman. Can anyone state a logical argument or express their viewpoint without spewing venom?

Of course, we all have opinions and our freedom of speech allows us to share these with others; it is one of the great freedoms which  makes this country magnificent. Many of us enjoy watching or listening to the debates as important issues are discussed and disputed.  However, why must so many lose their self respect and display such vile anger in their crude personal attacks via comments and silly pictures on the internet, and what is this teaching our children?  A few weeks ago, I posted my "life lessons" for my daughters and think I should add another pointer:

"NEVER become a women who loses her civility, dignity, or decency while defending or promoting a personal opinion or life choice.  Always treat others with courtesy and respect, regardless of how you feel about their views, and never back down while standing up for what you believe."

"Blessed are the peacemakers . . ."

parents' day

I love poetry, and after reading this one yesterday, I had to share.  It's lovely.

Parents' Day
by Sharon Olds

I breathed shallow as I looked for her
in the crowd of oncoming parents, I strained
forward, like a greyhound held back on a leash,
then I raced toward her. I remember her being
much bigger than I, her smile of the highest

wattage, a little stiff, sparkling
with consciousness of her prettiness—I
pitied the other girls for having mothers
who looked like mothers, who did not blush.
Sometimes she would have braids around her head like a
goddess or an advertisement for California raisins—
I worshipped her cleanliness, her transfixing
irises, sometimes I thought she could
sense a few genes of hers
dotted here and there in my body
like bits of undissolved sugar
in a recipe that did not quite work out.
For years, when I thought of her, I thought
of the long souring of her life, but on Parents' Day
my heart would bang and my lungs swell so I could
feel the tucks and puckers of embroidered
smocking on my chest press into my ribs,
my washboard front vibrate like scraped
tin to see that woman arriving
and to know she was mine

cheers

A few days ago while on an early morning walk with Lucy, I couldn't stop thinking about all the people who, each day, make my life that much better.  You know, those friends/acquaintances/strangers who take a moment to ask about your day, who go out of their way to accommodate your schedule, or just greet you with a friendly "hello, how's your day?"  People you just want to raise a glass and say, "cheers to you for making my life that much sweeter."

Before I knew it, a formidable list was growing and my heart was filled with gratitude for these random people who had brightened my days that week.  Something begins to happen when we recognize even the simplest of gestures and make a mental note of appreciation - suddenly our lives are FILLED with these moments of other people reaching out to us and our families without even realizing that they are making a difference . . .

Cheers to people who:

• Take time out of their busy lives to come to support my children's activities, and those who sent texts and called to check in (thanks Bishop Wipperman, the Moultons, Travis & Owen, Preston, and all the Skyline kids for coming to Caroline's state tournament and cheering her on).

• Rearrange a full morning schedule so that the girls and I can all get dental work done at the same time (thanks Dr. Boyden's staff).

• Mention my son with heartfelt thanks for the example he is to her young son during testimony meeting (thanks Kim).

• Welcome my girls and I with a hearty "hello" and friendly "how are you cute girls" when we stop in for breakfast at his cafe (thanks outgoing Hagermann Bakery guy).

• Pick up my girls from school and drive them to swim/tennis lessons - even greeting them with snacks and their gear - so I can be with Caroline during last week's tennis tourney (thanks Kathy).

• Meet the seminary council at 6am on a late start day to accompany them to the temple to do baptisms, then teach a full day of classes (thanks Brother Shields).

• Put in hours of extra time to help her 3rd grade students achieve their fullest potential . . . all with a smile (thanks Ms. Merrill).

• Greet a reticent Sophie at the beginning of a birthday party with so many unfamiliar faces, with a "SOPHIE - I've missed you - I'm so glad you're here!"  (Thanks cute Abbie).

• Leave a kind note and treats on the door for Caroline when she returns home after a tough loss in the semifinals (thanks Kim).

• Never fail to have at least one of my daughters over at their home for extended periods of time every weekend (thanks Denice).

• Host the teenagers on weekends and don't mind their homes filled with to the brim with all their kids' friends (thanks Jodelle, Renee, and Lesly).

• Are consistently kind, reaffirming, and complimentary, so that every interaction leaves you feeling uplifted and ready to tackle anything life may bring (thanks Ann and every one of my close friends :).

I'm sure I left out plenty more who deserve a shout out, because during my walk they just kept flowing into my head (this is what happens when I let too much time pass), but I think I covered most of those who made my life better last week just by being the amazing people they are.  Truly, our lives are brimming with people who are there to make it better - all you have to do is open your eyes.

CHEERS!

golden afternoon

I'm not sure which was more miraculous . . . this serene slice of heaven I found just beyond Dog Lake at the top of Millcreek Canyon before heading into Big Cottonwood, OR the fact that I can wake up on the first day of October and send the kids off to school, post a little something on the blog, get laundry started / straighten the house / clean the kitchen, go help at the school for an hour and then be HERE, taking in this breathtaking scenery just an hour later . . . and then back to pick up the kids from school after an invigorating 7 mile hike.

I find that quite miraculous.

Thank you Utah.  I don't think there are very many places on earth where nature and a major cultural/economic center are found so close together.  Plus, the options within our canyons are boundless . . . I haven't even begun to scratch the surface on all the available trails along the Wasatch.

My hike on Monday was going to be a "no camera / stay in the present moment and breathe it all in" type afternoon. Well, that lasted until I got to the top and found myself in a peaceful meadow at the crest of the hill leading down to another canyon.  It truly took my breath away and out came the phone, and before I knew it I was snapping pictures, with each one outdoing the one I took a moment before.

So, since I just LOOVVEE to share my nature loving moments, here ya go . . . our glorious mountains, bejeweled in brilliant gold:

I have to say that my iPhone takes some pretty great pictures. These photos capture the scenery just as I saw it . . . every bend more breathtaking than the last.

OK, so I have to share this little interaction I had with a fellow hiker.  As I was heading up the mountain, I came upon a portion of the trail that was lined on each side with these towering golden aspens.  The sky was bright blue overhead with the sun streaming through those blinding yellow leaves, the view of the canyon to the west was magnificent, and the leaves were fluttering and drifting onto the trail due to a slight breeze. It was truly one of those "catch your breath" moments.  

While I was in the midst of the trees, soaking in the magic of it all, a woman and her dog came around the bend.  I motioned at the majesty surrounding us, and barely above a whisper said, "oh my gosh, isn't this just magical . . . ?" Her response:  "Ya, I guess it's pretty nice."  Are you kidding me??  I wanted to give her a smack for so casually dismissing my reverie.  Seriously, it was the understatement of the year and I wonder how much it would take to impress that woman.  As for me, it was much more than "pretty nice."  But then again, maybe I'm just easily impressed :).

I even took a video for your enjoyment . . .

happy october

from, Anne of Green Gables

Thanks Anne.  Me too.

homecoming 2012

Caroline's first high school dance

Last weekend was homecoming for both our teens, and can I even tell you how much FUN it was having two kids involved, especially a daughter.  From the excitement of getting asked, to picking out the perfect dress and matching shoes, and finally sending her out the door to have the time of her life with all her friends . . . it was truly memorable.  First of all, she looked darling.  Caroline is definitely my daughter - it took her all of 30 minutes to get ready: make-up, hair, dressed, DONE (no fancy curls or manicures for this girl).

She went to the dance with one of my favorite young men on the planet, her best "guy friend" since 6th grade, Jacob.  I love this boy, ADORE this kid, and knew he was the only person good enough to take my girl out on her first date (yes, I'm biased).  One drawback was that his soccer game that afternoon went into overtime and he had to have his mom, along with another couple she was driving, pick up Caroline and bring her flowers - how great is that?!

Although I didn't get to witness her first attempt at pinning on a boutonniere (that would have been comical) and see her date personally pick her up, his mom did email over a boatload of pictures that captured their friendship perfectly as the group gathered before they headed out for dinner (to the Spaghetti Factory of course . . . Caroline thought it was pretty cool that even I ate there before school dances back in the day :).

Here you go - a TON of pics, but I had to post them in succession so I can remember the sweet friendship these two share:

I can hear Caroline saying, "OK, enough my friend!"

Really, aren't these two just so cute!!

Miss Caroline - the life of the party

LOVE this group of kids!

Ryan also went to the dance . . .

Poor Ryan won't get nearly the face time his sister did on this post, but I do remember quite a detailed blog post when it was HIS first dance.  Anyway, I was hoping that more pictures would pop up on Facebook, but unfortunately I only have a few from his Homecoming festivities (all the kids instagram now, and I can't figure out how to pull pics off their instagram - ugh).  He and his friends planned an all day activity, so he took off in shorts and a sweatshirt up to Park City (the picture would have been Ryan holding a hanger with his dress clothes, opening the car door while Chris and I wish him well - not that exciting).  I didn't see him until he made his way back home at 2:30am.

At the football game Friday night

The guys . . . it makes me happy that my son sports a bow tie :).

Part of their crew - they were in a group of 42 - yes, all 21 couple reserved a patio area at a sushi restaurant - oh my.  They even all squeezed into one picture at the dance.

Now, THAT is a pic I want to see!

One memory the kids shared that has no picture, but worth recording:

While at the dance a large group had formed a circle and Ryan was in the center doing his thing (whatever that was - dancing apparently :), and he sauntered up to Caroline who was clapping along with the crowd and took her by the hand, led her to the center of the circle and danced with her. OK, melted my heart to hear that story. I'm pretty sure that gesture meant the world to Caroline . . .