Thursday, August 6, 2009

Tugged at my heartstrings . . .

By now everyone out there knows how I'm struggling with my kids growing up. How just the other day, I made Liza stand against the wall while I marked her height with a pencil and told her she absolutely CANNOT pass that line. How everytime Ryan stands next to me I'm relieved to see that I don't have to look UP to talk to him, not quite yet. And how, I smile inside every day I can still pick up Sophie and Liza, swing them in the air, and smother them with kisses and hugs, knowing full well that I only have a few short years to do so.

I am desperately trying to hold on to each moment, and it seems things are just speeding up rather than slowing down. Sooo, with keeping my recent emotional hang-ups in mind, it was no wonder the flood gates opened this evening while at the theater (I had taken Ryan and Caroline to see the latest Harry Potter) watching this trailer. It's too bad I wasn't able to embed into the blog, but take a minute to watch - it's beautiful.

So, there I am watching the opening previews with tears streaming down my face remembering the days when Ryan would beg to have us read this story just "one more time" before bedtime. How he would recite outloud with us: "and they roared their terrible roars, and rolled their terrible eyes, and gnashed their terrible teeth!" And how he would anxiously wait to verbalize the one word just for him . . . "and they cried, 'oh please don't go, we'll eat you up we love you so,' and Max said, 'NO!'" We would pause for a moment after "Max said . . . " and Ryan would shout out NO! with as much emotion as his 3-year old heart could muster.

Those are the memories that hit with such force tonight while the trailer was playing that I couldn't help leaning over and patting Ryan's knee and whispering to him, "remember how much you LOVED that book?" I could barely get out the words and was ready for Ryan to give me that look of "oh brother, don't tell me you're crying Mom!" But, I think he was as touched as I was because he just nodded and said, "yes, I remember."

5 comments:

lyn. said...

Made my heart happy to read this...

Marti said...

This post tugged at MY heartstrings!

I think every mother knows this feeling. I feel like Abby and Thomas are getting too big too fast. It's so fun to watch them grow and do new things, but sad to see at the same time. And I am just trying to *enjoy* the babies as much as I can. Because I know it goes by fast and before I know it I'll have a teenage Ryan (and David), too! :-)

Aubrey said...

So sweet!

I am really excited for this movie, I cannot wait!

Joan - Nichols and Co. said...

Julie,
We truly are kindered spirits. When I took my boys to see Harry Potter I cried during the Wild Things preview as I remembered all the sweet moments of bedtime stories, snuggles, kisses and giggles. This book was a childhood favorite of mine that became a childhood favorite of my boys and I bet will become a favorite of those to come years from now. As my heart strings are tugged over and over again and the tears spill down my cheeks I always think - how blessed am I for having this life! Peace my friend!
Namaste,
Joan

Kristin said...

LOL. And I was just blogging about how I wish I were out of this 'totally dependent on me' stage of childhood! I guess I'll swing the other way when it's over, or at least when the end is somewhere in sight!